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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Marriage in Crisis? Has your partner fallen out of love with you and you want to save your relationship? Learn the steps to helping them fall back in love with you again.

Today’s post is a combination of what to do and what not to do if you want to save your relationship.

The first action a couple has to take to see if it’s possible to rebuild their relationship is to take the pressure out of the situation.

When one person has moved emotionally out of the relationship their partner is likely to be taking actions they hope will bring them back in, most people fail at this because their strategy doesn’t honour their partners’ feelings which are powerful and very real.

These are some typical behaviours people are using that don’t work

Men can become domestically practical – He thinks if he does more around the home she will fall back in love with him. She might appreciate the help, but it won’t help her feel emotionally connected in the way she needs.

Women wanting to win her husband back can become erratic, punishing him because she’s hurting and then switching to loving him to bring him back in. This simply confuses him and pushes him away even more.

A person wanting to win their partners’ love might tell their partner “You know we are good together”. Of course, a person wanting out of a relationship won’t agree with that statement today.

“You know I love you!” Is another statement that can backfire. The partner may not agree, may not feel that love is real, or true, or their love is irrelevant if it’s not reciprocated.

A person wanting to leave a relationship is likely to create a story that doesn’t reflect your version of reality. Contradicting their story only puts you both on opposite sides of the battle. You need to get on the same side.

Talking about a great future together will also fall on deaf ears because when the emotional disconnection happens the trust will die for that person which results in your future together disappearing.

The challenge is when anyone tries to pull someone back into a relationship before they are emotionally ready these actions will usually be met with resistance.

So that’s some of the common actions that don’t work, so what will work.

If you want to help someone back into the relationship, understanding the pattern of thinking that enabled them to move emotionally out of the relationship is going to be critical.

What this means is you can’t use your own logical thinking to process their words and actions. Understanding the world from your partners perspective is critical because they are going to need to connect with certain feelings before they will feel safe enough to reinvest.

Essentially they will only come back into the relationship if they feel what they need to feel.

This means that the person wanting to bring their partner back into the relationship has understood their partners’ patterns of thinking that enabled their love to die, because that pattern is going to still be alive within them – that why they still want to leave.

By interrupting the persons’ pattern of thought you can change the way they feel and this has the potential to bring them a new perspective of hope.

All my clients are empowered to look for new ways to see the situation they are in. Many people create thinking that means only one outcome exists for them, of course, that’s not true and only limits the persons’ options. In relationship terms, this means their current thinking makes staying in the relationship impossible.

By interrupting their current thinking it opens up new possibilities for that person to connect with very different feelings.

Connecting with their world and their thinking is the first critical step.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for saving marriages from divorce through his tailored Marriage Breakthrough Program.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • They Lost Control of their Marriage and Themselves
  • “28 Ways to Destroy Your Marriage”!
  • The Problem with Expectations
  • He said She said…
  • “Learn How to Repair your Marriage”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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