Help Advice Support & Guidance
My Husband and I had problems for over a year, so much so that my husband had moved out.
After 4 months of living separately, we decided to look for a marriage counselor. I did a lot of research on the internet and one day I got lucky and found Stephen Hedger’s website and i instantly liked the style of his coaching. [Read more...]
The most common symptom of a struggling relationship is when the passion/intimacy dies. Sex in a relationship is a powerful barometer of how the relationship is really doing.
Everyone expects the passion to be heightened when they first met, but unfortunately the view is that over time it dies and this view seems to be widely accepted.
The reality is this does not have to be the case, if it has died it has died for a reason and that reason is not time. You both have to consistantly do something for your sex life to stop.
So let’s look at the top ten reasons why your sex life could be on it’s way out…
If you find yourself in this situation firstly understand there is a really good reason behind it. So understanding what to do will create a significant impact on the relationship.
There are two forms of aggression, one which is verbal the other is phyisical violence. The one we are looking at today is verbal agression only.
If your wife becomes verbally aggressive she is trying to get a message through to you. It has become more aggressive because she feels that you have not understood her and so she is escalating her message hoping you will understand. [Read more...]
Is your relationship growing or dying? Are your needs being met in the way you want?
Of course growing would only happen through the love of wanting to understand each others needs and understand why you are stronger together than apart. Why does your future look more exciting with your partner than on your own? Maybe it doesn’t!
The focus has to be on the pleasure of an exciting life together, if what came up for you were fears, dread or that no future could be seen then maybe it’s time to explore your relationship.
At the bottom of this post there is a quick test you can ask yourself to explore what’s happening for you. [Read more...]
Could we really be addicted to our emotions good and bad? Is it possible to be addicted to feelings that help us feel awful? Could we be behaving in a way that affects the quality of our life through an addiction we are unaware of? Could emotional responses like running away from problems actually give a person what they need at a chemical level with their body and that’s why they do it?
Then this might interest you… [Read more...]
I’m sure you will agree that if the foundations of the relationship are not strong then the relationship is going to suffer.
So what are the foundations?
If someone has a problem with trust it can cause big problems in their relationships. Trust is a fundamental part of growth. Without trust the relationship dies.
When I work with individuals who are challenged in this area what we usually discover is they don’t know how to trust themselves. Some are aware of this within themselves and some don’t know.
A person who doesn’t know how to trust themselves feels they will be safer if they create some kind of blanket coping mechanism that fits all situations. [Read more...]
To be fair husbands can feel the same, it can be really frustrating for couples when they are doing all they can to get through to their partners and keep failing. It can feel that their partner really doesn’t care and if this is true then the future and love comes into question.
Most husbands do really love their wives, but they are stuck because they feel whatever they do doesn’t work, he feels powerless in the relationship as she gets stronger to cope with his percieved lack of care.
Your husband doesn’t understand you because he is not female, he wired totally differently to you. In essence men and women are designed by nature for totally different jobs and so automatically experience the world differently. [Read more...]
The most effective process for helping couples develop the skills to grow their relationship starts with their relationship with themselves. The couple are the foundations to the relationship and if the foundations are weak the relationship suffers.
You see if individual(s) are challenged by past events then that past will be used as one of their filters to make sense of their world. The meanings they give to their relationship will be based on that past combined with many other critical filters. Many people are not aware of these filters and how powerful they are.
Most individuals have some kind of misalignment without knowing. Society and parents teach people methods of how to destroy relationships without knowing. Individuals can come to sessions with no obvious past traumatic event, only to discover the way they experience the world is complex and unwinnable. [Read more...]
When couples experience problems in their relationship an automatic pattern usually appears. Couples find they have a need to withhold their love. They do it for two reasons firstly to protect themselves and secondly to punish their partner for the way they have been treated.
This pattern is automatic because we are conditioned growing up to move away from what causes us pain, plus society teaches us to punish a person when they have behaved badly.
The problem with pulling love away is it actually hurts the person who is pulling the love away and to make matters worse it actually hurts the relationship too. [Read more...]
Divorce isn't right for everyone and so finding Divorce Lawyers that care enough to help their clients to find the right solution is critical.
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STEPHEN HEDGER: Relationship Educator & Life Coach