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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How can we tell if we are heading for divorce?

I see a significant amount of people who are shocked their partner actually wants to divorce them. They never believed it would actually happen, some just assumed their problems would get better on its own.

So today I’m going to share what I see coming into my offices every week and why they are there.

I’m not going to talk about the obvious stuff like affairs, today I’m going to share the things some couples are NOT aware of that can really hurt them.

If you are experiencing any of the following it’s critical to take action as they can lead to what feels like a permanent shut down.

When the couples I see have not made their relationship a priority at least one person is going to be stacking resentments against their partner.

It’s critical to listen to a person when they say for them there is a problem in the marriage. If they want to seek help DON’T SAY NO because they could emotionally shut down if they think you don’t care how they feel.

Far too many people wait until crisis until they will agree to come – this is not a smart move as the job of saving the marriage gets significantly bigger the longer they leave it.

If one person says there is a problem and the other disagrees that in itself is a problem so please don’t ever ignore them.

I see many couples where one person feels they are low on their partner priority list this causes massive problems. I’ve had a person tell me their partner is 100% the most important person to them yet when I ask their partner if they feel they are a priority their answer is no. This problem has to be corrected as it can lead to emotional detachment.

Couples that have not kept their sexual energy alive can really struggle to reconnect this is because they are unaware why the sexual energy left the relationship. Without this knowledge, their focus just on being sexual will be very difficult/impossible and they can see this as proof of incompatibility.

Not understanding your partners’ critical needs can lead them to meet those needs elsewhere this process is not conscious so distance can start to happen naturally and this can seriously hurt a marriage as a person can feel misunderstood and alone.

Couples that don’t argue are missing honestly and openness and this can lead to hidden resentments. One lady I saw a few years back never told her partner of her issues with him and after twenty years of marriage and not saying a word she just told him she was divorcing him.

He never knew there was a problem because she never said, he was devastated.

She couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see she had been holding back all these years in the marriage and to her dismay, he had never noticed.

Couples that bury their problems are under the illusion the problems have gone. I see many couples where a significant problem from years before was buried so not spoken about again. So it sits simmering in the marriage ready to come out and bite the couple.

If one person in a relationship feels they have to protect themselves from their partner this will kill love and passion in that marriage.

I see a significant amount of couples where at least one person feels the need to control their partner. This always ends badly. People in relationships must feel free to be who they really are and make the choices they really want to make.

If someone is overly controlled they will find secret ways to take back control or they will be shutting down emotions towards their partner. One gentleman was so controlled one day he just snapped and left her without a word.

Couples that start a family and settle into living as mum and dad and forget how to be husband and wife and lovers. These couples do make their relationship extremely vulnerable.

If you feel contempt is starting to invade your marriage this is a big one to notice and deal with quickly. This emotion can shut feelings down and cripple a marriage.

If you notice your partner is needing to spend more and more time away from the marriage it could be a sign they need to get away from their partner to reconnect with themselves because they can’t be themselves at home.

If someone is constantly made to feel wrong, judged or criticised this creates natural distance and a feeling that the relationship isn’t loving or safe to be in.

The key to dealing with marriage problems is to take action fast as soon as there is a problem so it doesn’t give the couples the message is no hope for their future.

I know today someone will read this and it can take them 12 months to 2 years before they will hit a real crisis and then they will be in the fight of their lives.

Please don’t wait to get help, see the signs now and take action.

Living together is challenging and this is why helping couples not only breakthrough their immediate problem is half the battle.

The real key is learning the skills that bring a consistent energy that keeps the passion alive and at the same time keeps the relationship bulletproof in the future.

If you are on the verge of divorce there is a significant chance of divorce regret so my advice is don’t take a chance know for sure if you are right or wrong for each other.

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"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
  • Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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