Without fail, every time a client gains meaningful success, they have all done so by making one critical shift.
They took back control of their lives by reclaiming their power to become more of who they really are, using their emotional states as a foundation to bring out the best in themselves and their partners.
Taking back control matters because you are now in a position to design the outcomes the way you want. To achieve this, you must control your emotional states so they reflect who you really are.
If someone is out of control of their emotional state, they are like a runaway train.
In the context of a relationship, it means they are not heading towards the future they want, and their poor emotional state is not good for their partner and isn’t good for them either.
In fact, taking back control of your emotional states and who you are in your marriage is critical because most people are losing who they are in their marriage, and so their unhappy partners become convinced that who their partner is now being is who they really are.
Remember that our partners will build a profile of who they think we are over time, which allows them to either stay with us or leave us.
Reclaiming yourself is the first big step that gives you the best chance of the outcomes you want.
Some people are very aware they have lost who they are, and others are oblivious, but either way, it’s critical to their success.
The people who understood this found the fastest way to discover the truth about what’s possible for their struggling relationships. They realised that changing themselves was the single most important factor.
This is why so many fail, they are trying to change their partner. You cannot change your partner until you change yourself first.
Successful people eventually stopped waiting for their partners to change because they realised that doing so was the fastest way to lose control of any relationship situation.
They understood that requesting a change meant they had to wait for it to happen, which instantly caused them to lose control of the situation.
Instead, they have looked at who or what has their power, and they have taken the power back so that growth for themselves becomes possible again.
They committed to making the changes in themselves that made them happier and more effective for their family.
So the first step was learning how to do this, how to commit to themselves.
They learnt how to self-validate so never again can anyone have the power to stop them being themselves.
They create an identity that they can be proud of; they are not trying to please or prove anything to anyone.
They are the ones to guide themselves to their higher self, creating their own inner happiness, strength, and power.
You see the inner strength and inner power of your life lives nowhere outside of you.
All the happiness, strength, and power you need to create the life you want is inside of you right now. You simply must learn how to tap into that.
If you’ve not been feeling it, it’s because you have lost connection with yourself. Some may feel strong in other areas of life but not strong in their marriage. For life to be happy that strength must be universal.
The mission is to honour yourself by becoming more of who you really are, no matter what is going on around you.
You cannot influence or get the best out of any situation by being less or the worst of who you really are.
Have you noticed that many people act like the best way to approach a problem is by bringing the worst of themselves to that problem, if you don’t believe me?
Watch a couple arguing.
Smart people have discovered in relationships that they become valuable only when they become the best of themselves.
Reconnecting to yourself has a calming effect. In contrast, being disconnected from yourself brings fear, stress, anxiety and depression.
So, by reconnecting to yourself, you enable a more curious and creative mindset that will allow you to understand how to get the best out of any situation.
You see the biggest problem every couple has is they simply don’t understand each other. So, in an emotional state of upset through unmet expectations, they are unlikely to represent themselves effectively, and this means they won’t be able to bring the best out of any situation.
I can’t stress enough how important today’s message is. That’s why all the couples spend time with me on their own first, and that’s why I’m delighted to support individuals in learning this critical skill.
The essence of this training is simple: You must change yourself to become more of who you really are so you can give yourself the best chance of bringing the best out of your partner.
If you are interested in this unique WIN-WIN coaching model – I have a team waiting to help you discover how to get this help.
Simply send my team a message using the form below.