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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“A Wise Old Man’s Decision about his Marriage”

So I was chatting with this gentleman in his seventies. As we talked about our lives, he opened his wallet to show me a picture of his wife.

The picture he handed me was very old. The young girl in the photo was about 19.

She was sat on some railings with the sea behind her on a windy summers day.

As we chatted about her, I could hear that his wife, who was almost seventy herself, had obviously changed in maturity emotionally and physically.

But this wise older man refused to see all those years; when he looked at his wife, he smiled as he only saw the girl he fell in love with.

Interestingly, this conversation is the reverse of what many couples who enter crisis have done.

I see people who have actively collected all the bad their partner has done, forgetting the essence of who they married.

I have spoken with people who simply cannot remember one good thing about their partner despite the obvious fact there must have been good times.

One lady categorically told me she never loved her husband, yet her husband showed me years of love letters between them in his one-on-one meetings with me.

This wise older man I was talking to had made a unique decision different to most. He decided to know who his wife is and love the essence of her every day regardless of their ups and downs.

They had their fair share of problems like any couple.

This decision kept him invested in her. He used his mind in a way that helped him stay in love and protect her no matter what they went through.

The way so many use their minds emotionally disconnects them from their partner and they are unaware they are doing it or the impact.

In essence, when a person creates a focus, they give that focus energy.

When a person keeps treating their partner like an idiot or a child that’s what they’ll end up seeing.

If a person practices for years focusing on the negatives and refuses to forgive wrongs, or holds onto resentments.

That person is giving that negative perspective of their partner so much energy that perspective will eventually become their truth.

People end up leaving their own perspective of their partner, not who their partner really is.

This is a deletion process a persons mind will go through that will affect how they feel.

This is why so many divorce and then regret their decision.

They are unaware they have been in a bias of only needing to see the bad.

They have attached their thinking to their partner and left the person they have created in their own mind.

For many, this process is them protecting themselves.

Sadly for so many, this need for self-protection is rooted in them not understanding their relationship or partner, so they convert their misunderstood behaviours into negative meanings.

The people who regret their decision to divorce the most are the ones that leave their marriage and stop the process of self-protection.

This then allows them to drop the bias, and the bigger picture appears, and the good memories return to them.

To their horror, the regret will now form.

How we use our minds can have a huge impact on the quality of our lives.

Couples in crisis will need a mindset reset if they are going to stand a chance of seeing the truth of their situation.

At the end of the day showing the couple their truth and what they are capable of is their best route to happiness.

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Personal Development,  Rebuilding trust,  Relationship Stories

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Recent Posts

  • They Lost Control of their Marriage and Themselves
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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for saving marriages from divorce through his tailored Marriage Breakthrough Program.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • They Lost Control of their Marriage and Themselves
  • “28 Ways to Destroy Your Marriage”!
  • The Problem with Expectations
  • He said She said…
  • “Learn How to Repair your Marriage”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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