Cloé formally pop star Allison Jordan speaks about her relationship with Simon Cowell. What led her to be a pop star and her life today with International Marriage in Crisis Coach Stephen Hedger…
If you have ever had a relationship coaching session with Stephen Hedger, then no doubt you have heard of me in one of his stories. He does tell me that he uses me and our relationship in his sessions and that people are curious about what it’s like to be the wife of a relationship coach.
So I thought I would introduce myself, and tell you a little about my background and a little about being the wife of a relationship coach.
There is so much to tell you, there is so much in my past that had a major effect on how I behaved, what choices I made, and how I felt about myself and others. I remember feeling so scared of the world, so untrusting, so confused, nothing made sense.
So I made my own set of safety nets and defense mechanisms to keep me safe. I didn’t even realise that deep in my subconscious the scared little girl and angry teenager in me was running the show. This all changed the day I met Stephen. But first, let me tell you about where I have come from.
Born Allison Jordan to spiritualist parents who had been told they would have a girl who would sing dance and be a star.
I was brought up by people who believed the dead were watching over us and helping to guide our lives.
With the message of a star about to be born, my parents had already decided before I could walk that I was going to be a singer and a dancer and that I was going to be a star.
I had no say in that matter.
I was packed off to ballet lessons at 4 and by 9 I was already attending the Saturday drama school. Through the years of practicing singing, I learned I had a voice and passed the audition into the famous Sylvia Young’s Theatre School full time which meant traveling from Sydenham in South London to Marylebone in London every day on the trains by myself. I was 12.
I ended up attending 2 more top theatre schools up until my parent’s divorce.
I spent my childhood learning to sing, dance, and act. I realise now that I enjoyed the drama and singing as it was the only place I had to escape from the madness that was all around me at home.
I had wet the bed until I was 15 because I was so scared my parents would kill each other fighting at 3in the morning, or that the ghosts would show themselves to me.
BBC’s That’s Life was searching for a star
Fast forward to me at 19 years old when I saw an ad in The Stage Newspaper for the BBC Show “That’s Life” presented by Ester Rantzen were searching for a star and were looking for the next Sheena Easton.
I didn’t want to go and ignore the ad but my father saw it and there I was 5 am standing in a queue of 2000 other auditionees in the cold January morning outside the Hammersmith Apollo.
Whoever won would win a recording contract worth 5 albums with Arista BMG the producers would be Nigel Wright and Simon Cowell. I won.
My single “The Boy From New York City” charted at 21. You could say I was the first pop idol / X Factor winner.
After nearly 20 years I had never told anyone about my personal relationship with Simon Cowell, even at the height of his fame and when I was broke I never did a kiss and tell. I kept my relationship with Simon Cowell a secret for 20 years until he told the world
He was the one to tell of our relationship and did that in not a very nice way in his book Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell. He was another person I thought I could trust and depend upon who let me down.
Fast forward to today with my relationship with Stephen.
Before I met Stephen something in my life felt wrong something in me knew that everything that I had been told and was doing was not right for me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Stephen showed me how to reconnect to the true version of me. He has shared with me how to translate what others are really saying to me and how to love myself by giving love unconditionally.
Through a technique that Stephen uses, he was able to connect me to my true core and that is the one I call Cloé. I connected with that version of me so much that I decided to change my name by deed poll to Cloé.
It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Some thought I was crazy, but through the official change in name I am able to constantly live in the version of me that is the most centered…that is the true me.
Being the wife of a relationship coach has its good points, but it also has its bad points.
You see once Stephen analyses you, he then knows all your cards so to speak, that’s the downside of being married to a relationship coach, or is it?
Laughter in our relationship is huge. We are always laughing.
It’s not all about Stephen being knowledgeable that makes our relationship work. I have to work at it too. Although I have to say without what he has shared with me I don’t know that I could have helped our relationship.
All I knew was if there was trouble I was to run away, end it by threatening divorce, or sleep the day away. So with the skills I now have, and they are skills that everyone should have, I am able to work with my husband through testing times in our relationship.
Stephen has taken me on a journey to understand me, and finding Cloé has enabled me to see what I want from a relationship, and how I want to feel.
I wanted to feel feminine, strong, yet soft, sexy, safe, loved, adored, valued, and sometimes a little vulnerable. Peaceful, happy, and free. Free to be me. To be allowed to explore the world and never be judged and only loved.
Stephen makes me feel all this and more.
So what is the purpose of this post? To say that I think no matter how turbulent one’s past or current situation is, things can change, life and how we travel through it can be what we choose it to be.
As long as we are open to other ways of looking at things. In other words, be open to learning something different from what we have been told already.
Sometimes I thought Stephen was talking absolute craziness then I learned to listen until he had finished what he was doing and then it made sense.
Yet I still only took from it what I felt fitted for me, still today I will question something I am unsure of, in the end, all the pieces fit together and the complete picture becomes clear.
And you start to feel you know who you are. I had lost who I was, in fact, I don’t think I ever knew who I was, and I was hidden underneath years of trauma.
I am still on my journey, learning new things about myself and growing all the time. I hope my story will inspire you to find you and that you will visit Stephen if you need his help.