What must couples know before they decide to throw in the towel?
A significant number of couples are in crisis because they don’t know how to bring the best out of themselves and each other.
What this does is erode their connection with themselves and each other.
Having a successful relationship is a daily decision to show up and act.
Unfortunately many Either just don’t show up or if they do they practice the reverse of what will work.
Below are principles that give couples the best chance of a lasting connection.
- Relationships are created they don’t just happen
- Relationships are built through contributing and meeting your partners core needs.
- Relationship that focus on contribution (giving) creates the deepest bond as time passes
- Make sure that you consistently give more of what your partner needs than you get.
- Whatever you want more of in your relationship give and be more of that.
- Never make your relationship about you…
- Always take 100% responsibility for the state of your relationship
- Never focus on what you’re not getting because you can’t focus on building your relationship whilst you’re focused on yourself.
- Make sure that what you expect of your partner is something that you also expect of yourself.
- Make sure your partner is your best friend.
- Help your partner to feel valued and needed.
- Never stop giving love to your partner.
- Love your partner unconditionally – no matter what’s happened.
- Love is not about control.
- Always make sure your partner is more important to you than anything including your children and YOU!
- Understand when you block out the pain in your relationship you automatically block out the love.
- Are you meeting your own needs, but not living true to what’s important to you.
- Never try to control or manipulate your partner to meet your own needs.
- Allow your partner to be all of who they are.
- Never make your partner wrong.
- Always respond to your partners intent behind their words and actions.
- Always put your partner first, relationships never work if this is not in place.
- Fearful people are focused on themselves and can seem selfish as they try to meet their own needs at the cost of those they say they love.
- If you’re not happy then understand your partner is NOT HAPPY TOO, no matter what they say!
- Always focus on your partners strengths and help them where they are weak this is how any
great team becomes successful.
- If your partner is not being their true self, help them because they are in trouble
- Never assume your partner is trying to hurt you.
- Never judge your partner because you are not qualified.
- Never try to make your partner behave like you.
- Do you have rules for how your partner should behave, but you don’t live true to those rules yourself.
- Never lower your own standards and become someone you’re not to stay in a relationship.
- Always become the example you want your relationship to be.
- Communicate what equals your ultimate relationship.
- When you understand what you want your relationship to be like, look at the critical relationship rules above ask yourself if you are worthy of that relationship today.
- Learn what can you change in you to make your relationship better.
- Last one is never threaten to leave…ever! Especially as a control or a threat because unless you mean it it will backfire.