How the Marriage Breakthrough Process Works
Understand what is keeping your marriage in crisis, what can realistically change, and what needs to happen next.
You may want to save your marriage, be unsure whether that is possible, or be seeking help because your partner is considering leaving.
You maybe the person thinking of leaving but unsure if you're making a mistake.
You do not need to have decided your future before seeking help. The process begins by exploring your situation and learning from Stephen what is possible.
You can begin together or on your own.
“The Results Have Far Exceeded Our Expectations”
Client Testimonial: Tim and I went to see Stephen Hedger after nearly twenty years together, our relationship had fallen into an unhappy rut, and home had become quite hostile. Stephen somehow re-focused our hearts and minds and completely turned us around. We feel immensely grateful and would highly recommend him.
When your efforts are not changing what happens between you
You may recognise your marriage in these situations:
• Conversations turn into the same unresolved arguments.
• You live together but feel emotionally disconnected.
• An affair or broken trust has left you questioning your future.
• Your partner has withdrawn, stopped trying or asked for space.
• Separation or divorce is being discussed.
You have tried talking, reading or counselling, but the problems return.
Perhaps one of you is desperate to repair the relationship while the other wonders whether you are simply incompatible.
“We Have Now Reconnected and Are Rebuilding Our Marriage”
My wife told me she loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. Couples counselling left us both feeling worse about ourselves and our relationship. After Stephen’s three-month programme, we have reconnected and are rebuilding our marriage with huge hope for the future. A short time ago, I was convinced it was over.
Your first steps
1. Complete the private assessment
Share what is happening in your marriage, what you have already tried and why you are seeking help now.
Your answers help us understand your situation before inviting you to a conversation.
2. Have a free, private 30-minute call
We discuss what has brought you here, answer your initial questions and consider whether an Initial Consultation with Stephen is the right next step.
You can take this call on your own. Your partner does not need to be ready to participate.
If an Initial Consultation appears appropriate, we will explain what it involves and the fee before you decide whether to proceed.
3. Meet Stephen for your Initial Consultation
The Initial Consultation explores your marriage in greater depth: the history of the difficulty, what happens between you now, previous attempts to resolve it and what you each want—where that is known.
Stephen examines exactly what may be keeping the crisis alive and what would need to change for progress to become possible.
He will explain whether he believes he can help and, if so, discuss the programme he recommends.
This is an opportunity to make a more informed decision about your next step. It is not a commitment to a full programme.
“Stephen helped me to see... how my programming and subsequent behaviours were contributing to a deep underlying unhappiness.”
James and Victoria, Investing
The Marriage Breakthrough Programme
A structured programme shaped around your situation.
Before you commit, your recommended programme will set out:
The number and format of meetings.
• Who attends each stage: individually, together or both.
• The practical work between meetings.
• How progress will be reviewed.
• The level of between-session support available.
• The duration and investment.
Begin where the work is needed
Some couples need individual work before joint meetings become productive. Others need help recognising why attempts to reconnect create more distance.
The order matters. More conversations will achieve little if the same interpretations and reactions keep recreating the problem.
Identify the pattern beneath the conflict
The work explores how you interpret each other and how fear or self-protection may be shaping your responses.
It helps you understand what matters most to each of you, where expectations differ and how those differences contribute to the difficulty.
Put new responses into practice
Meetings connect insight to practical action. Depending on your situation, this may include managing emotional responses, interpreting your partner more accurately and replacing damaging interactions with more constructive behaviour.
Tasks between meetings help you apply the learning at home. This requires participation and a willingness to examine your own behaviour.
Review progress and adjust the work
Stephen reviews what is improving, where you remain stuck and what needs attention next.
Progress is reviewed against your starting situation and the future you are working towards—with attention to what changes in everyday life, beyond the meetings.
“There were things I could do to stop the cycle... Now I feel clearly what part I can play.”
Retired Couple
Why this process is different
Understanding the problem is only useful if it changes what you do next.
You may have spent years discussing what is wrong. You may each have a convincing explanation for why the other person needs to change.
Stephen’s work examines how those interpretations and responses interact, what keeps the pattern alive and what could interrupt it.
Central to the approach is his judgment about what you need next: where to begin, what to address first, when joint work becomes useful and when to change the plan.
The aim is to establish whether you can create a different future together—and what doing so would require.
“We are in a much better place... a place that now will hopefully require only us to discuss, understand and resolve.”
Phill and Peijie, Lawyers
See the work through clients’ experiences
After an affair: could trust be rebuilt?
One wife needed to know whether her husband could become trustworthy again. Read their separate accounts of the same marriage.
Find experiences that reflect your situation
Read accounts from clients about why they sought help, what they learned and what changed.
Is this suitable for you?
This work is for people willing to examine their own responses and put learning into practice.
You can begin alone. However, one person cannot guarantee another person’s participation or commitment.
The process is not designed to persuade an unwilling partner to stay or prove that one person is right. There is no guarantee that every marriage can be saved.
Where there is abuse, coercive control or fear for someone’s safety, specialist support may need to come first.
Take the first step
You do not need all the answers before you contact us. Complete the private assessment and tell us what is happening.
Takes approximately three minutes. Apply for a free, private 30-minute call. Begin together or on your own.