I meet some of the loveliest people in the most horrible situations. These people are smart, bright, creative people with a good heart at their core, but they all share the same problem.
They are all in terrible trouble in their marriages and are totally unaware of what to do about it.
The reason they don’t know is very simple, they are not designed to understand the problem.
Nature has not equipped them to naturally understand, and our educational system is not set up to help.
To be fair everyone is just doing their best.
The problem is the best a person can bring is always limited by what they know.
None of these lovely people I meet know enough and it’s only the realisation they don’t know what to do is what brings the people to seek help.
My message today is please don’t assume the knowledge you need is going to suddenly appear because it won’t.
Please don’t think your thinking is going to lead you to the answers it won’t.
Waiting for the wisdom to arrive in this area of life is like shutting yourself and a room and hoping that speaking Chinese will somehow descend.
Rebuilding a relationship is a repatterning exercise.
That means is a daily practice that removes the patterns that don’t work and replaces them with the ones that do.
You can talk about your problem all day if you like but how is that going to help you to breakthrough the destructive patterns?
The pain couples are in is obvious, what they want is someone to tell them what to do so they can get out of that pain.
They want a process that removes the pain and replaces it with pleasure, in a fog of confusion the people want clarity.
They also want simple achievable steps that enable help them overcome complex situations.
They ultimately want to feel their relationship is easy to be in and it gives them the emotions they desire most.
With relationships there is a lot to understand and put in place but the rewards are significant once you have mastered what you currently cannot see.