If a woman in a relationship cannot connect to herself in her marriage, she can feel the marriage is wrong for her.
This problem is compounded by cast iron proof that she can connect to herself outside of the marriage.
The basics of this problem is she likes herself outside of the marriage, but she doesn’t like herself in the marriage.
This disconnection to herself has foundations in emotional security, emotional connection, and this is what makes or breaks trust.
If she cannot connect to herself when she is with him, mechanically, she cannot love him.
In 99% of women, this switches off her attraction to him, and her sexual connection with him naturally dies.
In many cases, she will feel a need to self-protect due to stacked resentments, or she will feel she will have to be the provider of her own needs, so now she will wonder what he is for.
The inability to connect to herself when she is with him is debilitating for her in a relationship.
You see, at the start of the relationship, she did have that connection with herself, but somewhere on the way, she lost it.
Most men I speak to about this concept at this point are confused, and for good reason.
You see, I expect many women reading this post to connect to this concept, but this process of how attraction and love happen for women is very different for men, so the men won’t naturally understand.
When men don’t understand, it doesn’t mean they don’t love their wives, and it doesn’t mean they don’t care.
So, the man will not be on a mission to help her connect to herself because he is totally unaware of it.
Interestingly, many women do know what it means but are unaware that men are totally in the dark.
Plus, if you asked her to help him understand this and give him the tools to be successful with her, many women would fail.
I hope you are now starting to see the problem.
This connection with herself is critical for her happiness, and if he has no clue that this is even a goal for her, then when you look at the divorce rate, it makes sense.
In fact, last time I looked, a far greater percentage of divorces were being actioned by women; now you know why.
You see, men cannot solve problems they don’t understand.
The problem is this disconnect with herself when she is with him is very real and is very uncomfortable both physically and emotionally.
This is why couples need education; they are totally unaware of the foundations that keep safety and attraction alive.
They will typically see that their ideas of fixing their problems will only make the connection worse.
To keep marriages alive, it’s important to understand that men and women require very different things, and both sides are blind as to what those things are.
You cannot love someone or protect someone if you don’t understand them.
Some women are aggressively vocal when this problem is present. Other women can say nothing for years, quietly suffering until they become so numb asking for a divorce is no longer painful.
Couples are being helped with mastering this problem right now in THE MARRIAGE BREAKTHROUGH PROGRAM.
To all women considering divorce, it might be an idea to understand this before going ahead because you’ll only find the next man won’t understand this either.
To all men, understanding this is critical to your success with any woman, especially if you love her and want to keep her.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
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