That is a message I usually receive from men although some women have said this to me too.
They are talking about appreciation and gratitude. We have so much yet why is this not enough, why do we need more?
They say, “after all compared to many countries we live like kings”.
Shouldn’t we be grateful for what we have?
Clients are saying, “We have more money than we need”.
“We have a wonderful home, wonderful children, we are all healthy”.
“Why are we not enjoying life together, why are we not happy together”?
What is life about?
Life very simply is about experiencing “the emotions we want”.
The emotions the individuals in a relationship is wanting to experience in most cases are very different and so is their individual journey to those feelings.
What this creates is a disconnect and an upset as each persons route to happiness is different.
That difference and disconnect means we feel we have lost:-
- Emotional security and
- Emotional connection.
In most cases that also means the couple has lost its intimacy and now any kind of playfulness or fun is a distant memory.
So they get their needs met outside of their marriage and that just creates more upsets and distance.
The biggest problem for any couple sits in their inability to stay connected in a meaningful way.
So the stuff, the house, it all means nothing without that unique connection.
People in relationships are simply not focused on the energies that will keep their connection alive, focuses such as.
- Values
- Rules
- Needs
- Attraction dynamics
- Differences
- Planning their purpose
Even a persons health can be negatively affected by years of emotional disconnect.
The problem so many couples face is they have been in disconnect for so long the process of growth has become hampered by stacked resentments.
This is why designing a strategy to get the couples in a place where they can discover their truth is critical.
You have to stop the couple running unnecessary survival patterns when they are together as they simply will not grow and connect whilst this is in play.
Any form of self-protection is cancer for relationships because if the pattern isn’t interrupted and redirected it will grow and kill their connection.
Again the answer is strategy through pattern interruption and energy redirection.