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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How to take back control of yourself and your relationship

If you are a regular reader of this blog you will notice the many factors that can influence a person’s feelings and behaviors.

One factor I have not spoken about before is how to help a person take back control of themselves through understanding how their internal chemical changes are profoundly affecting their feelings.

In life what we are all after is the feelings we want. We can use many ways to achieve those feelings.

I have spoken to many clients who really don’t know how their feelings are created but are using them to make life-changing decisions.

One of the topics this post will cover is how those feelings are driven by our own internal chemical responses.

For example, many people are unaware a person can become chemically addicted to meeting their own needs.

This pattern can really distort a persons perception of their world.

They won’t know what created their feelings.

They won’t know the specific need they are trying to meet.

They won’t know they are addicted to the chemicals that are created through meeting that need.

We are chemical beings and as such our feelings are driven by the chemicals we create.

We are all creating our own chemicals.

We all have our own natural pharmacy that with the right understanding we can control it to give us the feelings we want.

We all know what it’s like to feel that automatic surge of adrenaline when we experience a frightening near miss in a car.

That is one of the chemicals designed to support our survival.

Our focus and the meanings we put to that focus in the moment is creating different chemicals within us all the time.

A person crying is having a different chemical response to a person laughing, confidence, courage, bliss, peace are all connected to different chemicals and different feelings.

It’s one of the reasons our feelings can become so physical.

What many are not connected to is we can become chemically addicted to the way we meet our own needs.

So someone driven to be the center of attention has become addicted to needing that feeling of significance, they like people looking at them and noticing them.

In some cases they don’t care if the attention they get is good or bad at least they are being seen.

Other people can become chemically addicted to meeting a need for self-protection through withdrawing from a relationship.

Others can be addicted to anger, frustration, judging, blaming to name a few.

The problem is these chemicals are attaching pleasure to behavioral patterns that are destructive to a person’s real mission and happiness.

For example, a person protecting themselves from being hurt in a relationship will never experience that relationship fully and they could lead the couple into a substandard experience/connection.

They are now vulnerable to resentment, detachment, affairs, and need to separate.

So the freedom of true love and passion will never go to the depths of connection that is actually possible for that couple.

The objective of helping people to take back control of their lives is to put them in the driving seat of those chemical responses so they can at will create the feelings they want.

This is core to helping couples bring an energy that will magnify their pleasure and attach that pleasure to each other.

Sadly too many are magnifying pain and suffering as the complexity of what they don’t know is affecting how they feel and what they do.

So they can be their own problem for years, some wake up to this and some don’t.

This internal pharmacy is another influencing factor for couples that are really just looking for love.

Done right love is easy and safe, but for so many they kill their love without knowing or meaning to, and then they wrongly blame the relationship.

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Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Loss of Love

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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