Many couples are stuck in a self-induced powerless dynamic where they are both out of control of the direction of their own marriage.
These couples think their relationship is a 50/50 deal.
What they are not seeing is the moment only one person has the responsibility for their half of the marriage, each person is automatically out of control of the other 50%.
It then puts them in the position of points scoring and blame. I’ve looked after my half what have you done?
I do more than you, I’m more caring, or more loving, I do more with the kids, or I bring in more money.
You’re too needy, too lazy, you lack empathy, are over-emotional, unorganised or too jealous.
This way of thinking is not protecting the marriage it’s protecting the person and this is a recipe for conflict and resentment stacking.
100/100 couples don’t practice blame, judgement, complain or shut-down.
A 100/100 partner will work to understand and support a struggling partner because they have taken 100% responsibility for the marriage regardless if it was their fault or not.
It’s called being in a team.
The couples that have got it right have understood they are both 100% responsible for the state of the relationship no excuses!
Their relationship has to be a 100% commitment from each person or the couple will simply will suffer.
50/50 relationships are stressful, judging a partner does not make them happier and more loving.
So if you can’t judge, blame or become resentful how would you approach your partner when things go wrong?
The answer to this question is your first step towards a fully committed 100%/100% marriage.