The key to helping couples out of their problems has three critical components.
- They need fast solutions, couples in crisis don’t have time to mess about.
- They need solutions that last they don’t want a quick fix where the problem will come back.
- The solution must be organic and easy to implement.
So what does all this mean in real terms?
Every year for the last 17 years I have been developing a framework so couples can clearly see why they are having problems.
The key is in helping the couple understand the foundation of their problems.
They must understand how their problems are built.
You see it’s critical they understand them so they know why the fix they are implementing is working.
The reason this is so important is any couple will always have future problems.
Sadly the concept of people without problems doesn’t exist.
The key to helping them be successful is showing them how to solve their current and future problems as they appear.
You see when they develop the confidence that they can understand and solve their problems it significantly reduces their worries and fears.
When people are no longer fearful of when things go wrong they will solve their problems much faster and with far less stress.
A typical message I received from Clients today is they are solving their problems so much faster now they understand them.
Not understanding why they have problems or worse thinking they understand them means they are likely to make the problem worse without meaning to.
It’s like the couple who came for my help they said they had sought help before and it worked well.
So I said why didn’t you go back, they said because we didn’t learn why the last problem got better.
So when the next big problem came up they were back to square one.
This means the couple will have to keep going back to that company for more and more help every time there is a new problem.
This couple was smart enough to see this specific problem.
In my mind success is when the clients are no longer needing your help.
One lady came to me after seeing her therapist for 10 years.
She said she was bored of going over and over it.
Now she wanted the solution.
My clients very simply want straightforward solutions.
One client said, “I just need you to tell me what to do!”
Which I’m delighted to do.
You see my thinking says it’s important that the person or the couple are the ones that are fixing their problems in the end, not me.
My job is to show them the way and then disappear as if I never existed.