Couples are coming to me for help because they are in differing degrees of disconnect.
Essential they are stuck unhappy and not sure what to do.
So when a person or couple seeks my help what they get from me is a different way of thinking that will allow them to see their problem differently.
You see the reason people are stuck is they keep looking at their problems the same way.
So naturally, they’ll keep getting the same result.
The moment the thinking changes the people who were stuck will start to see choices that were not there before, as I shift their perspective I watch my client’s faces as the penny drops.
Seeing what’s available, but currently hidden will make significant inroads into seeing a new way forward. Being stuck for many is simply a mindset.
People need to be free of their situation, but in a way that is safe.
Stuck people tend to become paralysed and that is not safe for them.
The problem is even if they do nothing the situation will eventually change, but not in the way they would like.
It’s always better to take charge so you can uncover what you cannot see.
My clients are telling me that what I share with them about their problems is on one hand so obvious, but only once it has been pointed out.
One CEO said I can see it clearly now, but I would never have come up with that level of thinking to solve that problem this way.
This is why I keep sharing with you, your thinking is where the solutions sit.
I’ll give you one example to consider.
A person comes to me and says we are always fighting. They are trying to solve the problem of the constant conflicts which will always take them into a disconnected negative space.
In my mind, they are seeing a foundational part of the problem incorrectly in this space there are a few foundations I’ll share just one so you get the point.
Conflicts tell me the energy is still present which is good and there is a place to grow to.
It tells me two people are passionately trying to get the other to see their perspective so they both still care about what the other thinks.
The problem they need to solve is how to redirect all that care and passionate energy into keeping their connection alive.
I’m seeing passion misdirected, imagine if that energy could be redirected back into the bedroom, into their connection, into their love for each other.
So what has to happen for that to be possible? It’s better to solve that problem than try to solve the whose fault is it that we argue, who is right and who is wrong battle.
Don’t solve the symptom of the problem solve the problem.
By understanding the problem differently their focus changes and that changes how they show up and that changes the outcome.
My point is if you are stuck it’s because you have a self-limiting way of seeing the problem and so you will stay there until you make a change in your thinking, or the situation will change without you.
Some people do one level of thinking all their life and wonder why life is never the way they wanted, to me that is such a waste when life has so much to offer everyone.