When a client mentions they are concerned they are incompatible, I can see the shock in their eyes when my answer is “yes, you are”!
Any couple is incompatible if the two people can’t be themselves when they are together.
Of course, the couple is incompatible when they are constantly protecting themselves from each other.
There’s no way love and connection can grow.
Of course, they are incompatible if they don’t know how to influence each other positively.
Constant negative triggers eventually wear the couples down.
You see, many people worry they are incompatible.
My shocking answer is yes, of course, you are incompatible as you are; no one would ever be compatible based on your thinking and your behaviours.
But that’s not the truth of their relationship.
However, it is the truth of their suffering based on what they are both bringing to the table.
So by changing the behaviours and the thinking, you’ll naturally change the outcome, the feelings and the investment.
At the heart of compatibility is a basic need to feel free to be the best of who you are.
Emphasis on freedom.
Freedom combined with the ability to deal with their problems together as a team.
Emphasis on being a team
Whilst generating an attraction dynamic.
Emphasis on a foundation of emotional security and emotional connection.
These skills are not common knowledge which is why so many couples suffer unnecessarily.
So if a couple wants to be compatible, they need to learn the skill of alignment on what is essential to both people.
They need to align on where their differences are their strengths.
They need to align on how they deal with their problems and their life direction.
They need to align on why they are together.
The person that worries about incompatibility is in dead-end thinking leading themselves to divorce.
So they need to broaden their perspective to see all the moving parts that they could positively influence.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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