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Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Advisor | Harley Street London

The laws of life tell us that without passion a person will not be motivated to take action towards the goal they have set.

So when a person has tried all they know to fix their relationship without success and time has worn them down to feel emotionally empty, their passion to solve the problems dies and so they edge ever closer to giving up.

This is the place that many coupes end up in. They don’t have the knowledge to question how their brain is interpreting what they are experiencing, this leads them to a very limited view on their relationship without knowing.

You see, our feelings are a result of many filters our thoughts goes through to make sense of the world we live in. We need these filters to keep us safe throughout life.

Not understanding each filter and it’s impact on the next can help a person to make decisions that can challenge their emotional safety.

An example: A person who is clearly loving to friends, children family, but holds back their love when it comes to their own intimate partner, will experience a ping-pong of problems in their relationship.

This person is clearly limited by a fear and this fear will affect the filters their own thought goes through. The result is the persons filters are creating their feelings and as a result their inbuilt intelligence will attach that feeling to a meaning.

They will feel the meaning they have created is a fact, it isn’t! The truth is the meaning they have created will be subjective based on their filters.

If we feeling wrong emotionally the feelings we create are there to serve as a warning to make a change. The challenge is what change do we make? If the feelings are getting worse it means the changes you are making are not working, so you must stop and try another approach until it does. Remember we are all the creators of what we feel.

Relationships are really hard to fix when you don’t understand what change to make and even harder if we keep repeating the same actions to fix the relationship that clearly don’t work.

So if what you’re doing does not fix the problems? The chances are the changes you are making are the wrong actions. So please stop! Find a new action.

If you have run out of ideas don’t worry, there are many ways to effectively deal with your problems.

So now imagine this, what if you could learn the changes that will lead you to success. You only get one life isn’t now the time to discover the truth and free yourself from worry?

 

Stephen Hedger
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