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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?

This gentleman had just found out his wife was guilty of another infidelity and was now at the end of the road. He had tried to forgive her before, but this time in terrible pain he couldn’t see a way forward and was now planning his divorce.

His wife came to me looking for a marriage in crisis expert to help her understand why she had these affairs and how she could save what seemed like a doomed marriage.

Below this couple have been kind enough to independently share their story with you. 

Firstly these are her words…

I contacted Stephen Hedger after my husband had found out that I had been unfaithful to him. It hadn’t been the first time, so we were at crisis point.

We were in a place, where I thought I would never be forgiven and my husband was clear that he no longer loved me.

The irony was that I knew that I loved my husband deeply and I didn’t even know why I was repeatedly doing this. I knew that if I didn’t resolve this unhealthy pattern, I would keep repeating it and I was desperate to not lose my marriage or the man I loved. I knew it was time to understand the root of the problem.

We went to see Stephen and agreed a process where I would first have a series of sessions by myself and Stephen would provide feedback to my husband. Following that, if my husband would consider taking me back, we would continue to have joint sessions.

Throughout those sessions I was able to understand myself at a much deeper level. Although I had attended self-development courses before, none were as structured or as expertly delivered as by Stephen.

I was able to see that my patterns were related to my childhood and low self-worth and self-esteem. We worked on re-building my confidence and I was able to see that I didn’t need to escape into external relationships to validate myself. Nor did I have to continue in self-destructive behaviour because I felt like I didn’t deserve a wonderful relationship or a man like my husband. As a result of the coaching, within a short space, I felt a lot stronger, happier and content within myself.

After these one-to-one sessions, my husband and I began having joint sessions. During these we were able to get an insight into each other lives and worlds. I was able to see how much I had hurt my husband and feel genuine remorse and ask for his forgiveness.

Naturally there were moments when issues arose and Stephan helped us see the other’s point of view. We learnt so much about the difference between men and women, how we behave, respond and handle situations differently because of our gender and this has helped us navigate through what before would have been difficult situations. Now instead of being confrontational and critical of one another we generally are able to laugh about one another’s foibles.

Everything that I learnt through the coaching sessions with Stephen has altered my life and actions in a way I would never have dreamt. Not only do I have an amazing relationship with a man whom I worship, my confidence has impacted my work, focus, relationship to money and much more.

I am eternally grateful Stephen for giving me myself and my marriage back. After infidelity, you may think that your relationship is unsalvageable. 

My husband and I are testament that with the right support, you can be the best version of yourself and have the relationship of your dreams.

Now his words

I agreed to see Stephen after I found out my wife had been unfaithful to me on what turned out to be several occasions. I felt I wanted confirmation from an outside source (Stephen) that I could feel totally vindicated in blaming (and punishing) her for it all.

To say I was bitter was an understatement. We were obviously in a very bad place but as I had subconsciously realised something wasn’t right between us for a while, and whilst devastated and reeling from the latest revelations, I wanted to understand whether any of it was partly my fault or not. So I stopped staying in the office late at night doing the ‘divorce’ spreadsheets and went along.

My wife had already had a couple of sessions ahead of me but we had agreed not to discuss these until Stephen and I had met and he could explain his understanding of the situation from what he had been told by my wife.

For me, his ability to listen to my concerns and then rationalise them back to me in a sympathetic, considered and respectful manner really impressed me.

Over two more one-to-one sessions, he took me on a journey of discovery of what men and women expect from relationships and why disconnects happen. Ultimately it’s down to communication and the ability to listen properly and not jump into ‘fix it’ mode whenever we (men) can – often before the full point/thought has been made.

Our meetings were frank, open and purposeful. Questions like “Would you miss her?” and “Could you live a life without her?” made me realise that even though I couldn’t, I had to have answers from my wife directly.

So we then had the rest of our sessions together.

It was through these, with Stephen acting as both translator and coach, that I realised my wife’s actions were actually a cry for help and because I never had the ‘tools’ to deal with it we grew apart through resentment, suspicion and apathy. Stephen not only taught me the tools needed but explained to both of us what it would be like using them and when to use them.

Suffice to say that they work and my wife and I have come out of this stronger than ever before. We both still have our ‘moments’ when work and life get in the way but, somehow, we know when we’re not really listening and we then make proper time to catch-up and reconnect.

Everyone deserves a better relationship and Stephen is a great catalyst, a confidant and perceptive mentor.

I can’t recommend him highly enough.

At a Glance: Relationship Building Programs available to you with Stephen Hedger

  • If you are in marital crisis you may need a tailor made 12 week Marriage Breakthrough Program.
  • If you NOT in crisis, but going round in circles then you may need a 6 week Relationship Repair Program.
  • If your in personal crisis then you may need a 4, 8 or 12 week Personal Breakthrough Program.

If your interested in any of Stephen’s programs either

Book an initial consultation so Stephen can assess what you need click here, or call to discover more information.

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"Marriage in Crisis? Application to work with Stephen Hedger"

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Recent Posts

  • What’s the root cause of our problems?
  • Does their pain matter?
  • “FREEDOM”
  • A thought for Sunday
  • Affairs!

Over 850 Relationship Articles

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Please Save Our Marriage! – Testimonial

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Please Save Our Marriage! This was the first email I recieved from Darren and Sue, they were at breaking point. When they first entered my clinic you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. This was a couple with young children on the edge, breaking up seemed like the only option open to them… Sue […]

“He thought his life was over..!”

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is a little different. I wanted to share with you a clients words about his experience of the pain of his divorce and the process of rebuilding him and his future. Over to him… The words hit me like a hammer ~ “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken, you never were. […]

“His emotions were sabotaging what he really wanted…”

November 3, 2019 By Stephen Hedger

What you are about to read is about is a gentleman in turmoil. He thought he had lost the girl he loved and his one-year-old son. She had left him and this connected him to his core fears, emotions that were powerful enough to sabotage him from getting the very thing he wanted. As his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for saving marriages from divorce through his tailored Marriage Breakthrough Program.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • What’s the root cause of our problems?
  • Does their pain matter?
  • “FREEDOM”
  • A thought for Sunday
  • Affairs!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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