If you look at yourself, family, friends and at nature what you will discover is millions of patterns of life doing the same things every day thoughout the year. We and the world revolve around these patterns.
- Our survival is based on patterns, as we constantly look for all that is familiar so we feel safe.
These patterns are associated with survival deep within us as the world we live in continues to grow millions of years later with patterns strong enough for life to grow and evolve into the world we know today.
When we react to the world we automatically create patterns that to us equal survival for us as individuals, we do this without knowing, but some of these patterns may not be good for us, but they some how become part of our make-up.
- Drinking, drugs, overeating, lying, cheating, anger, depression this list is endless…
I will use the pattern of anger as an example, someone who is brought up in a angry home will see this as the automatic pattern to run if they experience something they don’t like.
Anger becomes their pattern.
When someone discovers that anger is actually destroying their lives, giving it up is really hard. The mind is reluctant to let go of this pattern because it has enough proof so far that the pattern of anger has contributed to their survival so far.
Of course this is an illusion, but the mind will protest the more they try to get out of the old pattern and into the new one.
It is worried that if they practice the new pattern for long enough it will stick and become the new pattern and then you might die.
- That’s right… If your mind thinks that you will die if you change, can you now see why change is so hard.
This is why through coaching we have to help the mind understand that change is safe and easy, this is why coaching accelerates whatever it is the client wants to change through accelerated learning.
- The result is that change is easy, it’s just the knowing when it’s safe to change, is what takes the time.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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