How is it that two people who once were so in love can get to the point where their partner starts to feels like their enemy. Do you feel your partner is your enemy, or do you treat them as if they are?
If the couples needs are not met then resentment can creep into the relationship.
They start to feel bad and so in response they try to rebalance the relationship through controlling behaviour.
What usually happens in this state one or both people can start to make the relationship all about them. When anyone starts to behave this way in their relationship and it starts to become their normal behaviour then the relationship is going to struggle to last.
So this needs to change if you want to keep your relationship.
If your partner is making the relationship all about them, the chances are they are in a fear state, if you are controlling maybe you get angry or frustrated at your partner then you are in fear too.
One of the most common situations I see that causes many problems is when the man becomes fearful, which he displays through anger, frustration, shutting down or uses coping strategies such as alcohol.
When the man does this the woman has to become stronger to cope with this weaker behaviour from him.
The man in this place can view the woman to be hard, harsh, non-caring, the reality is he has pushed her to this place. The way he can break through and save his relationship is to help her feel more secure through love and understanding.
This what she really wants, if she feels like she has to be the man in the relationship he starts to become pointless to her.
She can love him in this place, but she no longer sees him as a sexual partner. He becomes more like one of her children and this is when she really starts to look down on him, he feels that there is no hope, he has no idea how to please her.
Many relationship fail through this lack of understanding of how to get back how you were when you first met.
If this is happening for you get in touch because it’s not difficult to correct.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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