I know many will ignore this, but for you, I hope you take your time to understand the magnitude of what you are about to read so next year can really be the way you want it.
As 2011 draws to a close I wonder as you reflect on this year what has been your primary focus. I wonder what you have spent most of your time directing your mind to. It’s important to understand this because it’s why your life is the way it is now. If you’re not happy with what you’ve got then clearly a change has to be on the cards for you!
In this post today I will share with you what I believe to be one of the most important messages you will ever receive
Take a moment to think: What have you been feeling and thinking about this year and why?
Most people have problems of some kind, but what’s interesting is because the problem becomes their focus, all the persons’ energy is directed towards the problem.
This focus magnifies their perception of their problem
What the person wants most is for the problem to go away, but they are sabotaging themselves, because whilst they are focused on the problem instead of it going away, it is actually getting bigger and more frightening.
If they practice doing this for long enough they create/make a focus that becomes an automatic pattern to alert the person to feel even more fear. The more they fear the more they focus on what’s wrong, the snowball effect is now in place destroying the persons life and limiting them from living the life they want.
Any person in this place will be trying to rebalance their world, but they will be doing it from a perspective of limitation. Their core values and beliefs are ignored as they focus on their fear and how to escape it. From an outside persepctive the person will have seemed to have changed, inside they feel stuck, removed, living a existance rather than a life.
- But the good thing is our focus can snowball towards good to! All you have to do, is know how.
So if the person is primarily focused on their problems in a relationship, it’s really easy in this place find even more problems. So we can scare ourselves silly from a totally distorted perspective.
I see people in my sessions, they believe their distortion so much they destroy their relationship in their quest to stay safe.
So know this, whatever you have ended up with this year, good or bad is going to be as a result of your focus and the actions or lack of them.
As soon as you get this concept and I know many won’t, but some of you will, then you’ll start to feel different and in control of your life.
Now you know you have created your own destructive pattern of focus, the next question is how do I change it or make it go away?
The answer is simple: You have to retrain your mind in the same way you did for fear, but this time towards what you want, not what you don’t.
What this means is for you to direct your mind towards the life you want, the possible solutions/action you need to take to make it happen. It is quite possible you have no idea what you do want , or what the solutions are, especially in relationships. So the solution is simple if you don’t know, find someone who does and learn from them.
If your relationships is failing, or you’re feel low or depressed ask yourself this. “How did I do this to myself, what do I really want and what has to happen for me to get it?”
Remember if you don’t know, find out! If you change your focus you’ll change you life!
- I really hope you get this because it is probably the most important message you’ll ever recieve. As I said many will miss the point here, but I sincerley hope for you, that this is the moment that sparks the change in you to go insearch of your truth.
If you have experienced this kind of change for you please feel free to share your journey in the comments below so other may learn from you.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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