Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Advisor | Harley Street London

Are you aware of your relationship patterns of behaviour? Have you noticed that we all have all setup patterns in our lives without knowing?

For example

  • Which shoe do you always put on first, left one or the right one?
  • When you brush your teeth, where do you always start, left or right, top or bottom?

These are just two simple patterns that you will always do. You set them up without knowing and for years you run this pattern without thinking or knowing. You have actually set-up thousands of patterns in response to your world and your perception of it.

Do you know someone that is always angry, or always depressed, or always stressed? What pattern are they running?

When you put pressure on these people what comes out is the pattern that they have put into themselves, these people have a pattern of learnt helplessness, because they feel that it is out of their control. No one has told them what they are feeling can be changed all they have to do is change their focus.

They feel that the world, something or someone is controlling how they feel. A depressed person will look for everything that’s wrong in their life and this is their focus, it’s this pattern that keeps their depression alive.

If anyone spent hours looking for everything that’s wrong with their  life, if they spoke slowly in a monotone voice, head down looking at the floor, physically moving slowly whilst running a movie in their mind of how awful their life is and with a belief that life will always be this way, wouldn’t ANYONE be depressed?

Life events don’t cause us to have feeling of depression, it’s the meanings we give to these life events. If we believe that there is only one way to experience that event then we’ll feel helpless. Of course there is hundreds of ways to experience any situation.

Angry people, stress people, sad people, they all run patterns to keep them in this place.

What patterns are you running in your relationship? Tomorrow I will expand on this topic so you will start to understand what might be going on in your relationship.

Stephen Hedger
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What If Your First Session Could Show You What Is Actually Breaking Your Marriage?

It's never what you think. One couple came to me believing divorce was the only option.

During their first Marriage Breakthrough session, they uncovered the pattern driving their conflict, understood each other differently, and realised they had been about to make the wrong decision.

Their marriage was not magically fixed in one session.

But they finally had clarity about what was happening, what needed to change, and whether there was a practical path forward.

Read their full story and discover what a Marriage Breakthrough session could reveal about your marriage.