What do we do when our mind is working against us and our own happiness.
There are times in our lives when our minds can work against us and lead us into more trouble in its quest to protect us or lead us to a fake happiness.
Below are three examples that can negatively affect a persons life.
Some people can live their whole lives like this and not be aware.
1. When a persons mind is organised for survival and not happiness?
2. When a person believes what their mind is saying to them.
3. When a person creates a bias and sees it as the whole truth.
———————–
1. When a persons mind is organised for survival and not happiness?
I see many people who are living a limited life because they are so focused on trying to avoid feelings they don’t want.
These people are attaching pleasure from moving away from what causes them pain.
One example is a person who refuses to trust others due to past challenges, is a perfect example.
They think it will keep them safe, but all they are doing is keeping the reason they can’t trust others alive.
They live normalising their suffering, never really free and never experiencing all that life has to give them.
They have not realised that their quest is not to trust others, their quest is to trust themselves to trust others.
When you try to avoid a fear or an emotion, you have to connect to it to move away from it.
The safe way to live life is to move towards what you want, not away from what you don’t.
Moving away from emotions we don’t want is a survival position designed to protect us from real danger such as being attacked.
Yet our minds can tell us there is danger in public speaking, setting up a business, letting go and loving someone wholeheartedly.
The breakthrough for many people is learning and understanding this concept you only become free and get the life you want when you move towards what you want.
Many people have had challenging connections through childhood, bad relationships growing up, awful divorces that put them off relationships and the concept of vulnerability.
These people can live the safe life, but also miss out on so much of what life has to offer them.
There is living in survival or their is living free to be true to yourself by connecting to who you really are and not let fear drive your destiny.
In the end it will be their biggest regret.
In tomorrows post i’ll cover the second of the three “when our minds can work against us”.
2. When a person believes what their mind is saying to them.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
- She Was Certain Divorce Was the Answer. Then the Same Problem Appeared in Her Next Relationship. - October 17, 2026
- Why Do We Keep Creating a Relationship Neither of Us Wants? - October 15, 2026
- Are You Making Things Better or Worse in Your Marriage? - October 11, 2026