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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How to Avoid Serious Relationship Problems

Every relationship is going to run into problems. Relationship problems are normal part of life. Many people become worried when the arguments start. Arguments are a sign of passion in the relationship so assume this is normal, as long as they don’t turn into physical violence. However your relatiosnhip may need some attention if the conflicts are getting frequent.

Most people automatically assume they may not be compatible if they start to argue a lot. Don’t assume this, as the issues that’s causing the arguments could be very simple to overcome.

Using “Logic” to fix your problems?

Most couples try using logic to fix their problems and this rarely works. There is very little logic in the communication between a man and a woman that’s understood by each other, especially when emotions are high.

I become more worried for couples when the arguments stop, this is because I know the couples will have tried to communicate with each other, but now they no longer see the point.

An example: Many men feel that the quiet is a good thing, but this is not the case. If your partner has stopped the arguments then she is likely to be locking down ready to run, or could be going into depression.

When this happens the passion leaves the relationship in all areas.

At this point seeking help is really important. The reason most couples don’t seek help is because they are not aware of what they don’t know, so they don’t search for the right help – all help is not equal. Plus they usually only search when life gets unbearable such as a break up, or a threat to leave.

The thing is, it’s easy to fall in love, it’s easy for most couples to have a child, what’s not so easy is understanding how to keep the love and passion flowing year, after year.

Those in trouble will go through the following phases if they are smart and seek help before things get too bad.

The first Phase clients go through is called:

1. Unconscious Incompetence

What it means is the clients don’t know what they don’t know, this is the danger zone for couples. How can they know how to deal with the massive complexities in a relationship and then a family if they have never been shown. People are doing terrible things to themselves and each other without knowing. Those in this place usually only seek help when life gets so bad they can’t cope. Very often it’s too late… If I had a just one pound for every break up victim or couple that says to me “…I wish we had seen you sooner…”

2. Conscious Incompetence

When clients start to understand what they don’t know, then their eyes are quickly opened to a very different way of relating to themselves and their loved ones. No more trial and error, only tried and tested ways to deal with all kinds of difficult situations. This can feel a little daunting as they suddenly realise how much they don’t know, and can become sad at what effect their past behaviours have had on their life today.

3. Conscious Competence

Every client at their own speed gets to understand how they really work, how meanings are created and how emotions are driven by those meanings. The clients start to learn so much about themselves and each other. They are now aware of how to create happiness in the relationship and in their own life, but it all takes practice and focus. The bad habits have to unlearnt, it takes effort, but they are starting to see how they can put good control back into their lives in away that’s happy for everyone.

4. Unconscious Competence

The last stage is when the couple don’t even have to think about what they have learnt or what they are doing, because they are now doing everything that works automatically and life feels very different. This is a little bit like learning to drive a car, it all felt over whelming a first, but now it’s automatic you don’t even think about it.

My advice is although a lot of relationship problems can be fixed, the longer problems fester the harder it is to change. So get help fast… take action today!

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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