The more people I see with relationship problems, the more convinced I am that we are on the road to big trouble in our society. Many cases that come to me have a consistent theme.
The parents of those sitting in front of me have had a mother who is dominant in their life. Just to make my position crystal clear I am not blaming the mother for the problems because they are reacting to their personal life conditions the only way they know how.
What I am saying is when the mother becomes dominant over the father, the children’s map of how relationships should be become confused with nature’s intention, and so with no other information, they consider this pattern of relationship behaviour to be normal.
Yet when they put this version of normality into action in their own relationships, they discover it doesn’t feel right because their true self wants to be in the gender nature designed for them.
Unsure of what to do, they continue to do all they know and further model the behaviour of their parents. The boy may model the weaker father and either shut down or run away. The girl may get tough fast and dominate the relationship.
So what is happening and why is this a concern for society long term?
When women become fearful, which they do a lot, they have no choice but to get tough to survive.
Women will get tough if they feel their man is weaker than them, both physically or emotionally. A woman will feel her best when she is protected and when she can connect to the vulnerable part of her. She will not do this if the man is weak and the result is she will resent the man for keeping her strong.
The man is designed to be strong and protect his partner. However, with a mother as a role model for strength, he will not know how to please his partner in the way she needs it. This will irritate her as he tries to please her, but with her permission. She wants him to take charge and be a man, but his model of the world assumes the woman wants to do that, so he feels confused and stuck.
He will start to feel like a failure as she gets stronger to cope, and he gets even weaker, feeling he’ll never be able to please her. He may become depressed, and she will get even stronger to cope in reaction to all this, and the result is disrespect becomes the behaviour in their relationship.
This results in both people in the relationship not feeling good, and so they blame each other and assume the relationship is wrong.
They are both wrong, with the right attention, the relationship can work, all that has to happen is they have to learn how to be true to what they were designed to be.
So why is this a concern for society?
More and more couples are having children and splitting up. This means that at any one time, there are thousands of mothers on their own having to look after their children. These mothers have to get tough to survive.
They become strong, and this is where their children learn the patterns that are likely to destroy their own relationships in the future.
Is this happening to you? Is your relationship feeling wrong, and you don’t know why, and either you or your partner have a dominant mother? It is very likely this is a contributing factor.
- If so, call me today for help…
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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