The biggest relationship pattern we run is a fear pattern. Yesterday we discovered how we can set up patterns of behaviour with knowing. Fear patterns in our relationships can happen in the same way, but with devastating results.
The fear we create in our mind is the question that means the end of our relationship.
That question is this:
Will I be enough… for him or her?
This big fear pattern is at play in many areas of people lives. Will I be a good enough mother, father, boss, employee, son, daughter, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend.
When this fear pattern is generated in a relationship this then changes a persons behaviours, they could decide:
- To give-up or run, because its hopeless, they will never be enough.
- To control their partner so they can’t make them fearful anymore.
- Try to put their partner down, so they come down to their level of fear too.
And there are many more… This will create lot of irrational behaviours, crying, shouting, happy one day, sad the next, depression, anxiety. Making up things you said when you didn’t, making you responsible for all that’s wrong in the world…
Decisions in fear states equals disaster
Unfortunately when someone makes a decision from a state of fear, the decisions are usually poor destructive decisions that help to generate the thing they fear most…and so their partner does leave them.
If a relationship is to survive and become one full of unconditional love this fear has to be understood and removed / changed.
Are you running this fear pattern, do you think your partner is running this pattern?
- If so then please seek relationship help
The fear will feel very real, but in most cases is not true, their pattern was set-up for a good reason, but it is very likely to be running today for all the wrong reasons.
Remember if you create a fear in you, and give it to your partner, what you do is then create a fear in them and now the irrational chaos is doubled.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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