Tim and I went to see Stephen Hedger because after nearly twenty years together our relationship seemed to have fallen into an unhappy rut which neither of us knew how to get out of.
Like most couples at the beginning of the relationship we were blissfully happy and both felt incredibly lucky to have found each other and looked forward to sharing our lives, making a family of our own and growing old together.
Life was good to us generally but the everyday stress of work, three children and buying a house we couldn’t quite afford slowly chipped away at our relationship. Tension, resentment and insecurities crept in over several years and gradually increased to the point that the atmosphere at home became quite hostile which affected our children and made everyone unhappy.
We were both confident that we could make our marriage happy again as the foundations were still strong but our efforts to improve the situation invariably resulted in arguments, blame, hurt and further resentment. It was hugely frustrating and depressing for everyone so we agreed to seek some outside help.
Tim & I consider ourselves to be fairly intelligent but we were in a generally negative state of mind and were sceptical of marriage counsellors who promised so much but then spouted a load of unhelpful clichés. We did a bit of internet research and came across Stephen’s website and arranged an appointment.
The first few sessions involved Stephen getting to know us and would often involve questions and suggestions to consider for the next session. Apart from that the whole process was surprisingly easy and subtle. We were sceptical at first, Tim probably more so, but felt we were moving in the right direction so stuck with it.
We had several sessions with Stephen over three or four months. It’s hard to describe Stephen’s methods but he has a remarkable knowledge and perception of people, their brains and emotional responses. The sessions were calm and constructive, dealing with our shared and individual values, needs and hopes. They were sometimes emotional but Stephen subtly managed to avoid it becoming negative, as was the case in our previous efforts, there was no blame or judgement.
The results have far exceeded our expectations. We had hoped to get out of the unhappy rut and stop the negative spiral our relationship had developed. Without wishing to sound weird or cheesy, Stephen appears somehow to have re focused our hearts and minds and completely turned us around. It is now three months since our last session with Stephen and I’m delighted to say our marriage is wonderful, positive, intimate, fun and happy. We hadn’t appreciated how depressed and exhausted our marriage had become until Stephen made it better and we now get unexpected levels of energy and joy.
Tim & I feel immensely grateful to Stephen and would highly recommend him. He may seem expensive, but for the price of a decent family holiday (until recently just a source of more bad feeling) you could get your happiness back, he’s very good value!
This couple listened and followed what I asked them to do. Each week they trusted in the process and this trust gained them an amazing result. I want to offer them my best wishes for the future.
Stephen Hedger