One of the biggest challenges that any couple in trouble faces is their own perceptions and beliefs about their relationships and their problems.
This is because after time spent focused on their problems a couple can get a distorted vision of their relationship and how it fits into what they thought their life should be like.
Unfortunately from this place they can decide that splitting up is their best, or only optionâ€¦ BUT! Just because they canâ€™t find a solution it does not mean there isnâ€™t one.
The question that gets to your truth is thisâ€¦
- How can we trust our perspective if we donâ€™t know how our perspective is created
and specifically what influences it?
OUR PERSPECTIVE… equals a meaning we give an event(s) based on our own life experiences so far, our state of mind at the time, our values for whatâ€™s important to us, the rules we have attached to our values.
Our perspective is also influenced by how we are meeting our needs that we maybe meeting yet conflicting with our most critical values for happiness.
When you consider all this plus how we generalise and distort information to fit our belief systems that were set up unconsciously, how can anyone trust in a state of fear (which is where most couples in trouble are) know as a fact that splitting up is the best decision and will make them happy?
The simple answer is they canâ€™t..!
All they know is today they are not happy and they don’t want to feel that way any more.
This is why my first job as a relationship coach is to help all my clients understand the truth about their relationship before any decisions can be made…