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Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Advisor | Harley Street London

Boosting a persons’ confidence can have amazing effects on their lives, it’s so important to know how to achieve it especially where it counts.

What’s interesting about confidence is someone can be incredibly confident in one area of their life and be totally lost in another.

I see this in couples a lot, for example the man can be a huge success at work yet flounder in his marriage. He tries to use the success model he uses for work and wonders why his wife is unhappy, snapping at him that she not his employee…

“…clearly there is something wrong with her after all I get on so well with all the women at work!” Actual words a CEO gave me in a session!

What’s great about gaining confidence is it can be learnt.

One of the key ingredients in the work I do with couples and individuals is how to build a strong confident inner self and this confidence comes from understanding…

Below are two examples of confidence and why it’s important. Confidence in dating and confidence in committed relationships.

For example:

Dating with confidence

In the world of dating if men and women present the wrong version of them what happens is they attract people who like that wrong version of them. In my world the wrong version is them in fear.

Men need confidence to create successful dates and to approach women he is attracted to. Unless he creates the real him, confident in himself he will attract strong masculine women. Strong masculine women are usually women who have had to get strong to cope with their fears, or past problems.

Women need confidence to present the right version of them on dates. Many women find they attract the wrong men, the men they attract don’t feel like real men and the men they do like don’t come near them. Creating confidence in the woman to be the real her will enable her to attract the right kind of men.

Also knowing what you are looking for in a partner and why, is a real confidence booster. Understanding what you need for any relationship to be successful and understand if the person you are dating can create that relationship with you helps you make decisions quickly so you don’t spend years in the wrong relationships.

Creating secure confident relationships that last and stay passionate

Men need to understand how to be confident men able to create the security his partner needs so she feels she can be safe with him no matter what happens.

Women need the confidence to let go of their fears and become the woman they were designed to be. Too many women have created an inner strength to keep themselves safe, but it disconnects them from their true self.

Relationships in crisis

I also see a lack of confidence and confusion in those on the brink of relationship collapse. They are so unsure of what to do, so they do nothing and can remain stuck for months some for years… Until the pain feels so great they become numb to it and leaving is now easy.

They actually feel they can’t trust themselves to make the right decision. From my perspective it’s interesting because what they want is a time machine to help them see the right path the one that is safe!

This is proof of them needing certainty, they need the certainty because they have enough proof that they make mistakes and so they now have a lack of confidence in their ability to create a relationship that works.

Creating a confident you in a relationship is the key to your success, but doing this takes education and understanding.

Relationship building is a skill, it’s not natural as many seem to think. Building confident relationships just like careers need to be learnt it’s a real skill. After all you wouldn’t expect to be good at your job with no eduation would you?

  • If you are interested in building your confidence in any area of your life please don’t hesitate, contact us now.
Stephen Hedger
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