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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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#696: Resentments high and passion low – There is a natural window of opportunity to sort this out?

When a persons marriage is NOT turning out to be the way they hoped it would be, they are going to start stacking resentments towards their partner. This has the ability to have a powerfully destructive affect on this couples marriage without them knowing.

In today post I’m going to talk about a powerfully hidden force that couples don’t discover until it’s too late and an opportunity to discuss their relationship with me for free.

When a person stacks resentment towards their partner they have the ability to help the person start to create negative attachments to their partner and their relationship.

The resentments will move them towards creating an automatic filter that converts most things in the relationship into a negative experience.

Their husband or wife can start to feel that nothing they do works or is ever good enough.

This results in one or both people protecting themselves from each other this is not a good place for the couple to be and should be seen as a sign a change is needed.

This need to protect me from you is a typical foundation present in couples that come to see me for specialist crisis help.

You see, with resentments high and couples focused on protecting themselves from each other the natural causality is going to be passion.

Passion is the life-force needed to keep the relationship alive. Passion is the key to ensuring the relationship lasts forever.

Couples that successfully stay together are passionate about their life. They are passionate about being together and are both excited about where they are going.

Individuals that have stacked their resentments eventually stop seeing their future together and can’t wait to spend time away from the relationship.

My message to all couples is this: When your relationship enters this destructive emotional space of resentments the faster you take action to get help the easier it is to sort it out.

You see there is a window of opportunity that doesn’t seem obvious. The window opens when someone starts their resentment and it closes when someone has had enough and makes a decision.

When someone makes a decision to get out of their marriage getting them back in is a massive job. It’s massive because it’s usually taken them years to get to this point.

An average time scale to detach emotionally is about 2 years from when someone feels wrong in their marriage.

Many people make the mistake of hoping things will just get better.

My message is simple: You have to know why it went wrong to make it right. So doing nothing, or doing the wrong thing is like playing the lottery with your families future.

Far too many marriages fail for all the wrong reasons and this is because too many people are simply not aware of what’s really happened to get them to such a destructive place.

Is too easy to blame the relationship. My clients very often discover what they thought was the problem turns out to be very different.

One lady came to me because she wanted to save her marriage she had been involved in a affair. The black and white view of this says she can’t be trusted.

The reality is her destructive childhood had given her a no win survival pattern with her husband. With the right knowledge of the past she worked with me to understand and break this pattern and replace it with one she could be successful with.

Relationships are very complex and need real understanding to help couples make good decisions for their future.

  • To all subscribers don’t forget I am now offering free chats with me about your relationship. Interested? Click here

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

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July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post
  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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