If you want to master this skill, the starting point is to remove your judgement of her words and actions, trust me here, because the cost to you is huge.
The reason I ask this is because if your judge her by your own emotional filters, the meanings you will put to her words and behaviors will not reflect her intent, they would reflect your intent if you were to behave that way.
To clarify you can’t translate her behaviors and give those behaviors a meaning and then make her responsible for your meaning.
Of course how she is acting is confusing to him, but that’s because she is totally different to him. Her emotional connection to the world she lives in is very different to a mans world.
For example a female attacking a man in an intimate relationship is looking for security and love.
Yet a man translates her actions as something he has to defend himself from, escape from, counterattack, or he gives up, or shuts down.
As you can clearly see if you try to judge her you will get it wrong every time. The cost of trying to win, or being right will only result in him being right and alone.
The fastest way to a divorce is to judge her.
I know, I know… she’s being horrible and unreasonable!
Look deeper and learn about her and you will get to the truth and this will set you free to be the man you have always wanted to be and the man she has always wanted.
Make learning about the women you say you love your mission. What no one tells men growing up is we have to learn a new language, new behaviors we have to detect what’s going on for her and help her.
Men you are her protector that is your role. Protecting her physically and emotionally. Get this right and this will be your win with her.
Men be aware: In an interaction with a female, if she feels that she has to protect herself, because either he won’t or can’t, her sexual essence dies for him and her desire to connect and feel safe with him dies too (please read that sentence again your sex life depends on it).
She needs him strong on both sides physically and emotionally for her.
You see in my sessions I help men to discover how to do this. When a woman can see that he is putting her needs first and he is now doing something that she could never do, he will regain not just her trust, but her respect too.
Now we have a path back to love and an intimate connection.
So men are you up for the challenge to discover what equals a strong man for her?
Discover how to help her understand your words “you know I love you” you might really mean those words, but she has to be able to connect with them and believe it herself.
Understanding her is not that difficult. BUT getting divorced, losing half your estate, a big chunk of your income each month and rarely seeing your kids because another man is bring them up – now that’s hard!