If you were wanting to save your relationship then the answer to this question is potentially gold, and the answer is not what you think. If you are thinking of leaving your relationship then this may help you understand what is happening to you.
Leaving a relationship is a big life changing step and so it’s important to understand what’s really going on to make sure the emotional distress is not creating a fog that could lead to a permanent mistake.
To be clear I agree certain couples shouldn’t be together, however far too many couples are splitting up because they are unaware of what you are about to read.
The main reason a person would want to leave their relationship is not what most people think and as you scan todays post you will see what I mean.
Couples that seem to have it all are confused that their relationships are breaking down when on paper they should perfectly happy.
The next paragraph is important…
The reason a person would want to leave their relationship is because they are doing something within themselves and are not liking what they are feeling on the back of what they are doing to themselves!
[Please read that again.]
Here is the problem, the person is not usually aware they are starting to creating an experience that will help them feel they want to exit their relationship.
So the feeling they are creating within themselves helps them to feel awful, especially when they are with their partner. Some will create physical symptoms of anxiety, stress and an overwhelming need to get out of the house, or they will feel relieved when their partner goes out.
They now have further proof their partner is the problem because when they spend time with friends or at work they feel normal.
So their conclusion is logical. I feel bad when I’m with my partner, but great when I’m with my family or friends, but for a large percentage of couples this is an illusion.
I’ll explain…
What the person wanting to leave has not understood is a very simple fact. When they are with their partner they are creating behavioural changes that contradict their core essence and identity and these changes create an experience that is physically and emotionally unpleasant for that person.
This is why many people can communicate, “I don’t like who I am/become when I’m with you”. In essence what they are saying is they are becoming a different identity in the relationship and they don’t like it. So to be themselves again they feel they have to leave.
With this train of thought caused by number of factors a person has the ability to think themselves out of a relationship.
So many people come to my consultations shocked at the process they have been going through without realising.
To help a person in this place we need to help that person understand what they creating within themselves and why?
Secondly we need to help their partner understand what can seem like a dramatic change of personality and help them become an effective support.
Many people who are shocked by their partners desire to leave can behave in ways that unfortunately confirm leaving the relationship is the right decision.
Sadly too many people regret divorcing their partner so getting to the truth is so important to avoid a costly mistake.
Need my help you know what to do.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
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