I asked this lady if she thought her husband was masculine or feminine. I asked this because her answer would lead me to what I needed to do to help them out of crisis.
Masculine and feminine energy is a powerful influencer of the energy and dynamic a couple creates together.
Masculine and feminine energy affects their identity, how they feel about themselves and each other, plus it affects attraction and their sexual connection, so it’s an important part of relationship-building process you must not ignore.
I see many people who change their masculine and feminine energy without knowing as a reactive means to survive.
This results in them creating a need to behave in a certain way, unaware this will also make them unhappy and potentially collapse their connection.
One example of many:
A naturally feminine woman may feel the need to adopt a masculine energy in a relationship because she has no emotional security or emotional connection with her husband.
In this case, she will adopt the energy for herself that she really needed from him.
She may initially feel better, but this can lead to her not needing him.
In most cases, the man will be obvious to her need, and she will not know how to teach him what she needs and why.
It’s why so many couples go round in circles.
To clear, men can be naturally masculine or feminine, and women can be either too.
What’s important is to discover where that person is happiest.
To clarify, the energy of a masculine or feminine person is different from a person looking visually masculine or feminine.
So you can have a feminine looking woman who is happier as a masculine energy in the same way a masculine man can be happier as a feminine energy.
What’s important is this energy in a person can fluctuate.
For example, a woman can be masculine in one moment and be feminine in the next.
The problem for couples is when one or both people find themselves having to live in the wrong energy for them when they are with their partner.
Let’s look at another challenge in this area.
I have seen many men who are very powerful masculine leaders at work but who give up that masculinity at home.
He is after an easy life, and he thinks letting her do everything her way is what she wants.
He doesn’t see that she likes being in control, but at the same time, she’s also fed up that she has to be in control of everything.
This results in her feeling too masculine, so she never gets to experience a different energy with him; this can change how she feels about her husband.
In this case, she can see him as childlike or weak.
Another problem is when both people try to adopt the same energy.
If a man and a woman both try to be masculine, it will kill their connection, especially at an attraction level.
You see, it’s the different energies that create their spark – opposites attract.
When used properly, masculine and feminine energy can bring out the best in two people, reconnect them to who they really are.
This creates a powerful attraction/spark, and this can build a healthy attachment.
Sadly many people switch their energy due to fear.
Relationships and love become a place of suffering for many primarily because they do not understand what is happening, why it’s happening and what to do about it.
This creates fear, and this will shift the masculine and feminine energy dynamic.
Masculine and feminine energy is a powerful force and is one part of what couples can learn from the Marriage Breakthrough Program.
If just one person changes their energy if done well, it has the power to shift their partner into the right energy.
When a person is left in the wrong energy for too long they can blame the relationship unaware of this problem and what they can do about it.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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