• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients Call London UK +44 (0)845 519 4808

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Home
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
    • Couples Coaching
    • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • FAQs
  • Success Stories
  • Appointments
  • Blog

He thought she didn’t love him so he started an affair?

This couple had been married for 15 years and a hidden problem was going to cause shock waves with an unexpected result, especially for him.

She discovered he had cheated on her. He said in the session “I never thought you loved me” shocked she replied “how could you say that, that’s NOT TRUE?” She was angry and crying shaking her head in total disbelief.

What’s interesting is for him it felt very true. In fact he lived for years thinking that he was not loved by her and was just a source of pain for her.

He thought now she had discovered the affair she would leave him and go on to be happy with another man. He was in for a shock, she did the reverse of what he expected she fought with a passion to love him throughout the pain of what he had done to her.

Image the challenge she faced, how do I love this man when I have to protect myself from his betrayal. I worked intensively with her so she could understand what it was like to be him before he chose to connect with another woman. How he would have translated the world through what she did and didn’t do. Initially she was totally baffled by the meanings he had put to her actions.

But she started to see how she had contributed to his unhappiness without knowing.

This woman was amazing not only did she connect with the past and took responsibility for her part in it she became empowered to find the courage to love him.

He was shocked at all this activity to win him back, for years he though she couldn’t care less about him and yet at the perfect time for her to leave him here she was fighting for her life.

As I explained to him why she had pulled her love away for all those years he stated to connect with his part in the cause and effect of their roller coaster relationship.

Bit-by-bit they both stated to see the truth.

As he started to see how he could become successful with her and how he could listen to her differently, he understood what she was really trying to tell him and had been for years. He shook his head in shame, “Why did I not know this?” he asked me.

For them both the truth was dropping into place they had spent years really hurting each other without realising and the result was devastating.

Their differing models of experience were brought together so they could reconnect safe in the knowledge that no matter what happened they would never let their relationship escape them again.

You see we all have different models of how we experience the world. If you don’t understand your partners model then any conclusion you come to about their words or actions are likely to be wrong.

The result can be very painful so don’t suffer, learn what’s really happened and if it’s possible to safely reconnect.

In my experience most couple can reconnect with the right strategy.

Category iconTestimonials Tag iconStephen Hedger

"FREE Call with Harley Street Marriage in Crisis Expert Stephen Hedger"

Click Here Now!

Recent Posts

  • “I can’t love you and protect myself from you”!
  • 28 Behaviours that damage marriages
  • She nearly divorced him for the wrong reason
  • All Roads Lead to Rome – “It’s Always About Me”!
  • Unhealthy conflict couples suffer the most…

Over 900 Relationship Articles

 

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Testimonials
  • Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Free Blog Subscription

Join 30,000 subscribers who have looked for insights into intimate relationships why they work and why they don't. Daily posts join now.....

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Please Save Our Marriage! – Testimonial

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Please Save Our Marriage! This was the first email I recieved from Darren and Sue, they were at breaking point. When they first entered my clinic you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. This was a couple with young children on the edge, breaking up seemed like the only option open to them… Sue […]

“He thought his life was over..!”

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is a little different. I wanted to share with you a clients words about his experience of the pain of his divorce and the process of rebuilding him and his future. Over to him… The words hit me like a hammer ~ “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken, you never were. […]

“His emotions were sabotaging what he really wanted…”

November 3, 2019 By Stephen Hedger

What you are about to read is about is a gentleman in turmoil. He thought he had lost the girl he loved and his one-year-old son. She had left him and this connected him to his core fears, emotions that were powerful enough to sabotage him from getting the very thing he wanted. As his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for saving marriages from divorce through his tailored Marriage Breakthrough Program.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested
In Stephens help

Please call us on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • “I can’t love you and protect myself from you”!
  • 28 Behaviours that damage marriages
  • She nearly divorced him for the wrong reason
  • All Roads Lead to Rome – “It’s Always About Me”!
  • Unhealthy conflict couples suffer the most…

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2021 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Return to top