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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Partner wants to leave the marriage and you desperately want to save it…

If you find yourself in this situation there are some things you must not do if you want to keep them.

You see the natural reaction is going to be to tell them it’s a terrible mistake, prove to them all the great things in the relationship and put pressure on them to see it your way whilst explaining the pain and destruction they will cause the children.

This is all understandable, but when you see the world from their perspective you might want to think again.

So lets jump into their shoes, they have probably been feeling awful for along time so they are going to feel emotionally empty. They will have deleted all the good in the relationship because keeping focused on the bad is what will keeps them emotionally safe and what they really want is to feel free of the pressure and pain the relationship is giving them.

So if you understood their perspective, what’s the chances of them agreeing they are making a mistake? In their mind getting out of the relationship will give them total relief of their pain. Although there will be a voice in their own head challenging them if they are making a mistake leaving.

Would they be able to see all the great things you want them to see? No they have conditioned their own minds to build a filter that can only can see the bad?

Will putting pressure on them move them towards your goal? Pressure will help them want to move away even faster.

Will they agree they are hurting the family? Yes of course, BUT the children for are already getting hurt by the current state of the relationship, so which hurt is worse?

Stack all these together and the pressure to run will become far greater.

So what’s the solution, if you want to move the person towards your goal, the first step is to understand their world and meet them in it.

The reason they are in this awful place is because you haven’t understood what’s been going on for them. So the more you focus on you and what you want not simply proves getting out is the right solution.

Appreciating and respecting their world, their feelings and their decisions is the starting point. You see, the start of any journey has to be with two like minded people. No one takes a journey with someone they can’t trust to understand them and what they need.

If they think your goal for them will give them pain they will never take it appreciating their feeling has to be the start. Remember this is the start, the road back to love can be complex butt with the right understanding it is possible.

I hope if you are in the awful place, this has given you a different perspective to work on that will at least stop you making it worse.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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