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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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They felt their marriage was dead but they were keen to learn the truth

Last year I was working with a couple who were struggling to connect with each other and it looked on the surface that the relationship was actually dead.

In fact it was dead the way they were running it. They came to me wanting to see if it could be fixed, she was not that hopeful, she felt he was too selfish and she had made a mistake marrying him.

I had to help them discover the truth and help them understand their beliefs about each other and the relationship.

So I explored what the start of the relationship was like.

When they met she loved the potential in him she could see the growth potential and the security that would provide, but she also loved his sense of freedom and passion in his interests. He seemed like the full package so getting married was easy.

As the years passed and they became a family she started to resent his need for freedom, the very thing she loved when they met. His need to play polo, race his horses and go to his club always felt more important to him than her and her children and she started to feel resentment towards him and those activities.

It wasn’t long before the arguments started and for nearly two years they went round in circles until they had nearly destroyed their relationship.

He came to me sharing his story of how controlled he felt. He told me that he loved his wife and family, but he also needed time for himself and so he felt trapped.

He told me that he feels he rarely goes to his interests because of the battles and he resents her for this and so now their connection has died along with their sex life.

So instead of feeling free he felt trapped and he could not see a way to grow and so he and the relationship was dying fast.

So I wanted to understand more about this man. I discovered that he was not just looking for freedom for himself, he valued it so much he wanted to free his wife family too.

He was not selfish at all, he wanted her to feel free too, I knew we could use this to start to heal them.

As we chatted I explored what this could mean and how he could free her, he was visibly excited at the prospect. We discovered he could free her from her loss of love and connection, he could free her from her loss of security, he could free her from feeling she is second best to his hobbies.

Knowing that his real mission was to please her I new this would feel good for him to create a conscious focus on freeing her.

This new focus opened up a new way to connect what’s important for him, with what’s important to her.

This small shift of focus in him totally changed the relationship as he looked for ways to free her from her pain, so she could feel she was number one again.

This helped her to take her focused off her pain and insecurities and to focus her energy into what felt right for her, being loving and wanting the best for her family.

She told me she never wanted to control him ever and today now she feels she is number one. Today she actively encourages him to go and be free, ironically this new connection with her is so powerful for him he choses now to spend more time with her and his family.

The key for this couple was to help them discover how they could connect with what’s important to each other.

He couldn’t connect with her if he felt she was trying to trap him, but the moment he could see how trapped she was too he had instant empathy and took action.

The key is to help couples connect with what’s really important to them both with the goal of putting love first.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

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"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

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Recent Posts

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
United Kingdom



Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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