Most people that attend my sessions are in varying degrees of emotional stress, some are worried they are broken or there is something wrong with them.
In most cases there is nothing wrong with them, they are not broken or malfunctioning.
In fact quite the reverse, they are working perfectly.
You see the human body has created pain for a reason, it tells us when something is happening to us that will harm us.
Put your hand on a hot cooker your brain will want you to take it away to protect your hand.
What if emotional pain is the same?
What if the emotional pain a person is in is just another message that what you’re doing to yourself isn’t working so stop it and make a change.
If a person could see the way they are managing their own mind is the reason for their own pain and suffering, then they would see that pain would be the natural result of their own actions and thinking.
Then their perspective of that emotional pain would be the same as putting their hand on a hot cooker.
If I keep behaving this way I should expect pain.
If I am awful to my partner should I expect my partner to stay with me or go?
The problem is people don’t see this in life or relationships because they don’t take personal responsibility for what they are feeling they blame others.
It’s their partner fault is the common complaint I hear, but this is a disempowering belief remember at most your partner can only trigger you, your feelings are created by you.
So if you keep going round in the same circles of conflict and you know the result and how you will both feel in the end.
Why would you choose to put you hand on the hot cooker again and again?
Your mind and body keep telling you it’s painful yet there is no learning, so maybe you are mad, maybe you are broken or insane.
You see many people act like they are mad or broken, what’s really broken is their thinking and their beliefs.
Firstly what each person is suffering from is an inability of how to hear the message of pain as a message to change what you are doing to yourself.
And secondly they are missing what change they must make to replace that pain with other feelings such as joy.
If someone is emotionally out of control of themselves is it wise to become out of control as a mirror of them to fix that situation?
Then there is the other extreme where people can’t bear what they keep doing to themselves over and over so they divorce their partner to stop their own pain.
These people would not put their hand on a hot cooker and throw out the cooker to stop their pain they know that would be madness.
People who suffer are the ones that have not yet discovered how to build their thinking so their life keeps bringing them joy.
So if you are currently suffering this message is for you, you are not broken your mind and body is looking after you and it wants you to make a change within you.
Now the question is what change within you should I make to protect myself and bring myself joy instead?
Every person has an emotional system they are disconnected from and maybe now is the time you discovered what it is and how to use it to help yourself.
You see the moment you get off other peoples emotional systems and get on your own, your life will change.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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