The Marriage Connection Assessment is now live
As promised, I’ve created a free assessment to help you reflect on how you are currently experiencing your marriage across five important areas:
CORE, COMPASSION, CHEMISTRY, COMMUNICATION, and CLARITY.
It takes around three minutes to complete and gives you a useful starting point for understanding which area may be worth exploring first.
It is not a diagnosis of your marriage. It is simply a way to identify patterns that may deserve closer attention.
Take the Free Marriage Connection Assessment
Once you’ve completed it, continue reading below. This article explores 30 behaviours that can gradually create emotional disconnection in a marriage, often without either person intending for that to happen.
Click the link on the article(s) you think apply.
↓
Emotional disconnection rarely happens overnight.
More often it grows through repeated behaviours, misunderstandings and unresolved problems that slowly change how two people experience each other.
Below are 30 behaviours I have repeatedly seen create distance in marriages.
Some may seem small, but practised for long enough they can have a significant impact on love, trust and connection.
1. “My Partner Blames ME for Everything!” – Mini Post
“My partner constantly tells me I’m the problem, so I get blamed for everything!” This is a common complaint that enters my sessions. To be fair it
2. “I Don’t see the Problem..!?” – Mini Post
What do you do when one person is unhappy in their marriage and the other says they are perfectly happy and can’t/won’t see the problem? Many
3. “NEVER Sweep Problems Under The Carpet!” – Mini Post
I have seen so many people who have had problems for years and for a quiet life or to protect the relationship they ignore them, they hope they will
4. The RULES for Being UPSET? – Mini Post
Have you ever noticed that some people can look for ways to be upset, either by a situation, what someone said, or what they think they should have
5. “You made me feel…”
You made me feel terrible, upset, angry, mortified these are a few emotions people blame others for making them feel. I hear people in sessions
6. How Emotional Patterns Destroy Marriages
The challenge we all face is on some level we all have some kind of unhelpful pattern that we learned growing up. It’s nothing to be ashamed
7. “A Simple Reason Why Relationships Fail!” – Mini Post
If you want to know the most common reason why relationships fail so you can avoid it, this post is for you, because in the land of failed
8. NEVER let your partner enter a “CRITICAL NEEDS DEFICIT!” – Mini post
Who knew each person on a planet is driven by different and very specific emotional needs? When these needs are not met couples will always experience
9. “I don’t TRUST YOU enough to want to hear you!” – Mini Post
Losing trust in someone is what resentments will do to a person, especially when those resentments are stacked over time. It blocks them from
10. “Why do you feel qualified to be his judge?” – Mini Post
It’s rare I allow a couple to engage in conflict in my sessions. I don’t see the point in them paying me to watch them argue, they can do that at home
11. “Her husband is suffering and she is unaware!”
Yesterday I shared a post about how women in marriages are suffering, but of course, it’s only half the story. Men are suffering too, but women are
12. Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why – Mini Post
I have had hundreds of sessions where a lady in a session is sharing her upset and the man is totally confused as to why she would feel this
13. What will break the connection? – Mini Post
“We don’t have fun, I don’t feel that I matter, we bicker all the time and to top that we have nothing exciting interesting and fulfilling to look
14. Knowledge isn’t power – but it’s a start – Mini Post
I spend most of my time teaching very bright people how to understand their relationship and their partner’s behaviours and words. One of the
15. Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
Arguing is really a power struggle between two people who are forcefully wanting the other person to see things their way. If you looked at it from
16. “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
One of the fastest ways to spark conflict is to assume the meaning you are attaching to your partners’ words is the right meaning. I remember
17. “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
If anyone wants to have a successful lasting marriage then a person’s relationship with themselves is critical to master before they can ever be
18. “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post
With only one life, everyone deserves to live their dream or at least have a go. One of the challenges is when a partner wants to block that dream
19. “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
One of the most common patterns is when one person becomes upset and the other becomes upset because they are upset. This kind of
20. “Never try to change your partner”
I’m going to share why trying to change your partner is likely to kill your connection, your attraction for each other and negatively affect your sex
21. Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
When anything becomes more important than your partner problems will never be far away. Too many relationships are stressed because a husband or a
22. Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post
I remember as a child, in my first ever game of hide and seek, I closed my eyes because I thought if I couldn’t see them, they won’t be able to see
23. “What’s wrong with you!?” Mini Post
I have seen so many couples come into sessions with a belief about their partners’ reaction to a situation, they tell me it was clearly ridiculous,
24. “If you loved me you’d know…” – Mini Post
“If you loved me you’d know” I have heard this in sessions so many times and it’s a significant problem for those couples. I have to STOP people
25. “Stop EXPECTATIONS they stress relationships” – Mini Post
People in relationships need to STOP setting their expectations of each other because it doesn’t lead to harmony, it only creates disappointment,
26. Why Lie?
Lies decimate relationships because they break trust a foundation the relationship can’t function without. Lies are interesting because some people
27. Affairs are not solutions to anything – Mini Post.
People in unhappy relationships can find themselves being tempted into affairs. To them, the affair has magically solved the unhappiness
28. “Why NAGGING has to STOP!” – Mini Post
The person nagging either wants the person they are nagging to align with the problem as they see it, or they want the person to take the action they
29. “Never BE your partners’ judge” – Mini Post
The fastest way to build resentment, create disconnection and move them to meet their needs outside of the relationship is to tell them you are
30. “Never Threaten The End of the Relationship!” – Mini Post
I’m introducing a new category into this blog. It’s called “Stop and Never” Mini Post Series which should be under 200 words – I’ll try… In
Recognised more than expected?
Seeing the behaviours is useful.
Understanding what they may have created inside the relationship is far more important.
The free Marriage Connection Assessment looks at five important areas of connection and helps identify where it may be worth looking more closely.
Take the Free Marriage Connection Assessment →
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
- How to Talk to Each Other—Without It Turning Into Another Argument - October 29, 2026
- Is Your Marriage Still Repairable? 7 Signs Worth Understanding Before You Decide - October 27, 2026
- Before You Try Again, Can You See What Is Really Driving Your Marriage Problems? - October 21, 2026