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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I don’t TRUST YOU enough to want to hear you!” – Mini Post

Losing trust in someone is what resentments will do to a person, especially when those resentments are stacked over time.

It blocks them from wanting to hear what their partner is saying.

“Blah Blah Blah, you want me to change and you want me to listen, you want me to do it your way, but what about what you did..?”

Resentments cloud judgement, resentments shift emotional patterns, they change short-term feelings, they change memories so they can rewrite history.

This can help people to destroy the very things they want to keep or love.

This is why putting a couple in a room to listen to each other’s problems is not a good idea until they are both helped to be ready, minus the resentments – This is why strategy is everything when helping couples out of a crisis.

They think they have a marriage problem but…

The resentful person is usually under the impression they have a marriage problem and they probably want to escape on some level.

What they are totally unaware of is due to their ongoing disconnect what’s been evolving is a relationship with themselves problem.

They have lost connection with themselves some may say “I don’t like who I become when I’m around you!”

They have created a version of themselves that even they don’t like, but they will usually blame their partner which results in this self-destructive model of making others responsible for how they feel.

No responsibility = No response ability = no ability to respond.

So by having no ability to respond they give their problem to others essentially they give them the power to make them happy or not – it’s no wonder they are so resentful.

Who puts their happiness in someone else’s hands?

The irony is it’s the people that need to control others, who are the ones giving away the control without knowing.

So the problem is this…

This change in them is NOT the identity that will keep this person safe.

It won’t keep a person safe because holding onto and stacking resentments only hurts that person.

It’s like drinking the poison and hoping others will die.

They won’t make safe decisions only reactive ones (reactive = out of control).

I am unusually seeing at least one person a month who has deeply regretted a life-changing decision through not understanding themselves or this process they were in well enough.

They wake up, regret and are now in the fight of their life

Now they are in the fight of their life as they have rediscovered their true identity again – it’s like an awakening has been ignited based on their loss.

In this new identity they would never have let their partner go – “…what was I thinking?”

  • Partners that have been sexually dead in the relationship wake to a ferocious sexual desire.
  • Others who sat in front of the TV every night now want new adventures.
  • They are hungry to learn how to be better.
  • They are more patient
  • More loving
  • They want to listen.
  • These people are now hungry to connect!

The key is to take action before the ill-thought-out decisions and regret set in.

So to help them see the reality of their relationship they must build a relationship with themselves where they can trust themselves to be themselves.

Too many people have lost connection with themselves and are simply lost and afraid, some wondering if they can actually trust themselves.

For many, it’s easier not to trust – and if other people are always the problem, why do I need to get the help?

Their thinking is trying to avoid vulnerability, but the result of this focus is damaging for this person because they don’t learn anything, they never grow, so there’s never any progress.

More irony: This person has created a process that actually makes them more vulnerable.

So I have to wake clients up to look at themselves before they launch into an emotional assassination of their partner and hurt themselves.

I have to shift people out of their resentments so they can see the truth.

The way I see it is lovely people are hurting each other because they are not understanding what to do, they lose connection with themselves and someone is to blame.

So NEVER make fear a driving force to make life-changing decisions, because no one ever ends up liking the result.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know” - July 11, 2025
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages? - July 8, 2025
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?” - July 5, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know”
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?

July 15, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

This gentleman had just found out his wife was guilty of another infidelity and was now at the end of the road. He had tried to forgive her before, but this time in terrible pain, he couldn’t see a way forward and was now planning his divorce. His wife came to me looking for a […]

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

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Recent Posts

  • Why does a woman that loves her husband have multiple affairs?
  • “The One Shift Everyone Must Know”
  • What If You Knew the Exact Mistakes That Destroy Marriages?
  • “What Do You Hear When I Speak?”
  • Your Marriage Isn’t Broken — The Pattern Is. Here’s How to Fix It.

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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