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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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NEVER let your partner enter a “CRITICAL NEEDS DEFICIT!” – Mini post

Who knew each person on a planet is driven by different and very specific emotional needs? When these needs are not met couples will always experience disconnect.

Remember critical means critical and this means if the relationship doesn’t meet these needs the person will feel compelled to go where they can meet them.

What’s worse is most people do this without conscious thought.

Many people decide to marry but don’t have a sufficient understanding of how different they are and this will be a significant source of stress for any couple.

Couples are not aware of many dangers in their relationship if they don’t understand how to feed it.

Not understanding or meeting a partner’s CRITICAL NEEDS is one area of concern that can lead them into a painful emotional disconnect.

So please hear this message – if a partner’s critical needs are not met they can eventually feel compelled to leave the marriage.

These needs are called CRITICAL for a reason.

Not meeting a person’s critical needs is the emotional equivalent to the physical stress of not eating, it just takes a little longer to emotionally kill their emotional connection.

Relationships need feeding and the couples in crisis I see will present one or both people starved of emotional needs that are important to them.

They won’t always know what’s wrong all they know is they feel bad and have attached that growing feeling to their partner.

One person can be very busy doing what they think is right for their relationship only to discover none of what they did connected to what was important to their partner so both people end up frustrated.

I hear many women say “my husband says he loves me, but I just don’t feel it”.

I remember one man, distraught because his partner told him she no longer loved him.

He said I worked hard in my job and provided for my family every day. He was clearly a very nice man but he was dramatically disconnected from her emotional needs.

They didn’t make sense to him so he dismissed her emotions as unimportant.

As a result, she felt alone, abandoned and unloved.

This man loved her, but he only gave her the love he wanted, because it’s all he knew.

He never considered that for her to feel “love” she had to have it in the way she needed.

People are simply not aware of how important this is and how destructive a needs deficit can be to a person’s emotional system.

I remember two well-known musicians came in both in a state of disconnect and were totally unaware that meeting each other’s needs was even a thing.

So NEVER let your partners’ critical enter a deficit because they will suffer and attach that suffering to you and this leads people to self-numb or emotional detach.

A significant part of helping couples reconnect is understanding how and why their partner is so different to them.

When differences are understood and critical needs are met…

  • They can rebuild their connection.
  • Trust can reform.
  • They can reignite attraction.
  • They can build the desire to sexually reconnect.
  • Plus it helps them become a team

So this is a powerful skill to learn.

If you too see this as critical to understand and you want my help please click to apply here.

Category iconLost Attraction,  Marriage Coaching,  Stop & Never - Mini Posts

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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