With only one life, everyone deserves to live their dream or at least have a go.
One of the challenges is when a partner wants to block that dream in some way.
Either they don’t agree, or maybe that dream creates a threat to them on some level.
When we achieve or set out on a quest to grow in some way become connected to a different type of identity within us.
Some new mums with careers will likely feel this identity battle as they are torn between the identity of mum and her career identity as each battles for her time.
We must be free to become who we are!
The challenge is if a partner disables their spouse from the chance of becoming an identity that’s important to them, they can attach that disappointment to the blocking partner.
Remember, our job as partners is to encourage our loved ones to become all of who they are not limit them.
Bringing out the best in our partners enables them to be free to explore, fail and grow as all adults should do.
Making mistakes is how we grow.
When we free our partners, they can feel amazing and can attach that feeling to us.
When you have a partner that wants to explore ideas, think twice before saying no.
I’ll show you why.
I remember Cloe (my wife) wanted to move to a new location many miles from where we lived. When she shared her vision with me I was unsure.
But my response was an enthusiastic “great let’s do it” I responded this way for a reason.
What this created in her was a responsibility to make the right decision for everyone.
Essentially I trusted her to look after us. When she explored the location and did her own due diligence she discovered many problems.
So weeks later she came back to me with those problems asking me if I minded if we didn’t go.
You see the key is trust.
The challenge for so many is their connection isn’t strong enough for this type of belief in their partner to be present.
The problem is by not trusting them it then compounds the problems with their connection and the distance between them becomes greater.
Obviously, I would recommend getting help to rebuild the connection as a prioroity.
When someone has an idea and you block them instantly you’ll make them want it even more, long before they have weighed up the impact of everyone.
This means someone can decide anyway not because it’s a good idea but just because their partner said no this is how terrible mistakes are made.
Trust them, and free them is the key.
This way, you’ll free them to explore and make the right decision for you both.
Too many partners don’t trust the decisions their partner is making, and it knocks their confidence so they either try to push bad ideas through fast or stagnant in fear whilst trying to avoid an upset.
So it’s essential to STOP parenting them and start believing in them. They’ll make better decisions that way.
So NEVER kill a person’s dream because you can kill a part of who they are.
