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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post

When anything becomes more important than your partner problems will never be far away.

Too many relationships are stressed because a husband or a wife is living with a feeling that they are, for example, number 3, 4 or 5 on their partner’s list of importance.

This feeling is a dangerous one to have because it’s going to create a stacking of resentments.

This is going to affect a person’s emotional security and this will lead to a loss of connection.

No connection = no trust!

No trust = no relationship.

So never make something or somebody more important than them.

Work, hobbies, parents, the hot colleague, even kids yes that’s right, kids.

I know some will fight me on this.

Kids need you to be solid with each other or they will become unsettled.

I remember one lady who ran herself ragged, putting all her attention into her kids.

In fact, she quite literally had no time for anything else, the kids were in every club going.

To her they were everything.

She had put so much importance into them which on one hand is amazing, but she forgot how to be a wife.

So her and her husband lived together in identities called businessman and mother.

Identities that people create can make or break a relationship and too many people do not see this as an issue.

This problem is why so many couples become stressed when children leave home they have lost their connection as husband and wife because they lived together as a mum and dad.

In this lady’s case, she had no time for her relationship and she didn’t see it as a problem (because she was doing a good thing) which was unfortunate because her marriage was dying.

So she was being part of a problem that would eventually devastate her children’s lives.

If you spoke to her children and asked if they would give up one day of activities so mum and dad’s relationship could survive and they would stay together I know they would do it in a heartbeat.

Most children will do anything to stop mum and dad from splitting up, 15 year old girls are bedwetting to distract mum and dad from their constant conflicts.

Couples must become a solid team where each person feels they matter to the other.

Never make anything more important than your partner because trouble on some level will quickly follow.

If you do have children remember your relationship is teaching them a model of how relationships work and growing up they will model what you teach.

If you are enjoying these posts here are some popular posts you might have missed.

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Category iconStop & Never - Mini Posts

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

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  • From Stephen Hedger to you…
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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
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  • About
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  • Over 1000 Articles
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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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