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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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What will break the connection? – Mini Post

“We don’t have fun, I don’t feel that I matter, we bicker all the time and to top that we have nothing exciting interesting and fulfilling to look forward to, why am I here?”

In this STOP & NEVER mini-post series I’m going to cover the keys to making a relationship bulletproof.

Today’s post is the first part and it’s about NEVER drifting through life as a couple.

Couples that grow together stay together.

So it’s important to create a purpose for being together because couples that drift tend to have at least one person making their own plan.

So when you look at the formula for making a relationship bulletproof one of the foundations is about being an effective team with a vision and a purpose.

Why is a vision/purpose so important?

One of the elements that disappear for a person in a marital crisis is their future.

When someone can no longer see a future they like with a partner they can start to imagine a better one on their own.

Not having that plan, purpose or vision as a couple means they have little to lose if they leave, so one part of what keeps couples excited and alive is missing for them.

So with a fading connection and little to look forward to other than more of the same, couples can get bored, disconnect, and look for a better future.

There are four parts to being a couple with a vision and a purpose

Part 1 – The emotions you need

The whole point of having someone in your life with you is they add value.

Adding value equals on an emotional level what’s important to you is positively compounded by them and having them around.

What this means is this.

The emotions that you love to experience you’ll have more of because of their presence.

For example, a person who values fun, love, connection and passion will be happy if they are experiencing, more fun, more love, more connection, and more passion by having their partner around.

Couples that don’t experience a compound of what they value will struggle to be themselves around their partner and this creates a disconnect.

So one of the purposes of being together is their ability to compound important emotions in both people.

Part 2 – Evolving together

The second part is about their ability to maintain and evolve that connection and keep those emotions alive as life progresses and evolves.

A young couple will have very different priorities from new mums and dads.

New mums and dads will have different priorities from retired couples.

Each person over time will change what they value and what they need as they progress through different life stages.

This means it’s important to stay connected as those changes happen.

Many couples don’t evolve together they grow independently of their partner and then experience a disconnect.

Part 3 – What do we want to achieve?

The third part of creating a purpose is about the growth of the couple based on an agreed vision.

  • For some people, this may be a financial target where both people are financially free to travel the world.
  • Others may have a mission to help others.
  • Some may want to grow or continue to hand down a family business.
  • Others may want to retire to another country.
  • Set up a company to sell.

The type of vision is not important, what’s important is the couple is working towards something they are both passionate about.

Part 4 – Become a cheerleader

This is for each person to encourage their partners’ individual growth so that independently and together each person can experience fulfilment.

Success in life without fulfilment is the biggest life failure so it’s important to align with where we/I are going and why.

So NEVER drift because keeping an exciting future alive is one of the keys to making the marriage bulletproof.

If this has struck a chord and you want help you know what to do.

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Stop & Never - Mini Posts

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
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  • About
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  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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