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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“NEVER Sweep Problems Under The Carpet!” – Mini Post

I have seen so many people who have had problems for years and for a quiet life or to protect the relationship they ignore them, they hope they will go away.

With relationships, problems NEVER go away EVER what they do is GROW!

You see problems have a core reason for being, they are there to tell us to make a change.

If we ignore them the change won’t happen and so other problems will keep coming from the same core problem.

If you don’t deal with the core problem it will keep coming up.

There are a billion examples but here is just one.

Let’s say we have a gentleman who is holding onto the awful things his wife has told him about him over the years. He has built up resentment and attached it to her.

What is the core problem?

There are many, but let’s look at a few, firstly he doesn’t know why she is saying those things, he has just assumed she isn’t very nice!

Without understanding why she has said these things how can anyone judge her?

Secondly, because he doesn’t know the answer to the “why she is saying those things” question he doesn’t yet know if he’s part of the problem for why she behaves this way.

Behaviour can’t be judged as wrong without understanding why it’s happening. He is resenting her based on his own interpretation of her words, this method of diagnosing her is always a disaster.

He needed to understand what she was really trying to say.

You see when men say things, what they say is all they mean and when women say things what they say could mean many different things.

Men and women have very different language patterns and for a good reason, yet very few people are aware of this and how to correctly interpret it.

I’ve overly simplified the model to help you see the problem of not understanding each other correctly.

Relationship problems always have a good reason for being, they are just not obvious to the untrained eye.

So this man has assumed for twenty years that what she said is what she meant, but when I helped them to see the true message their understanding changed.

His resentment turned into protection now he had the right understanding and as a result, she stopped saying bad things.

So it seems a shame to spend a life with someone constantly making the wrong assumption about them, resenting them because they feel qualified to have been their judge.

My wife Cloe and I are in our fifties now and we are all too aware of how short life is, so please don’t get it wrong for too long.

The problem isn’t going away so when it happens it’s important to understand it so you can deal with it and make the right change.

There is so much to learn with building effective relationships, no one has these skills naturally and growing up there are no teachers.

Judging doesn’t work or help, many people seem to be happy with being right, but they will feel alone too.

So we commit our lives to others totally unaware of what we are stepping into and the true cost of getting it wrong.

Many are totally unaware they are getting it wrong until a partner says I’ve had enough or I’ve fallen out of love.

NEVER let problems fester the answers are there and in most cases, those answers will be a relief for both people.

More posts to help you.

  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man’s Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

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Recent Posts

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.


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Recent Posts

  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?
  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
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