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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Affairs – Infidelity – Cheating is it a sign of things to come or simply a wake-up call?

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that dealing with Infidelity makes up a significant percentage of my work with couples. In these situations my job isn’t just to save their marriage, it’s to learn how they got into this position and to help the couple discover if it’s possible to rebuild a dynamic that works for them both. Sadly many people who embark on affairs are not understanding what’s happening within them. For some, they are putting a relationship they want to keep on the line. For others they could be keeping a relationship artificially alive that is actually dead whilst their needs are met through the new secret relationship. Dealing with affairs takes specialist handling as the complexities are potentially huge and getting to that couple’s truth is really important. The big challenge an affair creates is it becomes the couple’s problem when in reality it was always a symptom of deeper challenges in the relationship. A couple can spend a significant amount of time overcoming “the affair” totally missing what actually caused it and this can leave the relationship vulnerable in the future. Other people can find themselves stuck feeling they are in love with two people and end up traumatised as they struggle to choose the right person. Typical scenarios I’m asked to work on:
  • A person has an affair and feels they don’t want the relationship, their partner wants me to help them win their partner back.
  • One person has an affair and yet doesn’t want to lose their marriage, their partner doesn’t feel they want them back because despite still loving them, they can’t see how they can trust their partner ever again.
  • One person had an affair so they split up, months have passed and despite separating they discover they still love each other but are fearful of their future together.
  • Some couples experience an affair they decide to stay together. The relationship is never really free as one person lives on red alert for the next time. In fear, they hold back in the relationship.
These are typical however there are more complex scenarios. It’s very rare for affairs to start just because the opportunity presented itself. Affairs are much more likely if the relationship has a challenge the couple is not seeing. The person who is open to an affair is going to be searching for a feeling within themselves that they lost, or feel they never had in their marriage. It could be that person would never feel what they need to experience with their partner because they are in the wrong relationship. Some individuals leave their husband or wife for the affair partner, don’t end up with that person. This is because the affair was never about this new person it was about the person having the affair and what they were trying to connect with within themselves. This is so important to understand before any big decisions are made. An affair can simply become a vehicle to connect with the feelings they wanted. When an affair is discovered the injured party can really suffer, some for years if they decide to stay in the relationship as they fight with two powerful energies. The power of love that now has nowhere to go and the power of fears creating a collection of uncertainties. These energies will create an internal battle that can remain never-ending if not resolved correctly. If the couple wants to save the marriage and overcome the affair the couple will require a strategy that will help them both to breakthrough not just with each other, but more importantly with themselves. Understanding why the affair happened is really important so both people can understand how their relationship became so vulnerable. This could become a platform to rebuild their relationship. For some couples it is right they part and I do make that recommendation especially if I feel that the pain and suffering will continue and spread to their children. For the many couples when the essence of why they fell in love can be rediscovered, they are then more likely to be open to learning with me how to protect their relationship in the future. Discovering the truth has to be the goal for any couple in this situation. The truth is what will really set the individual/couple free. If this has struck a chord then arrange an exploratory appointment to learn what could be done to support your situation.

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If trust is always in question, the connection simply cannot grow.
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

Category iconInfidelity-Affairs,  Marriage Coaching,  Uncategorized






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"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

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Recent Posts

  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands
  • What to Do When Your Marriage Is Failing — Real Answers That Work
  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage
  • Husbands May Only Become What She Believes Him to Be – Mini Post
  • “I feel nothing… and he’s no idea why!” – MiniPost
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  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?
  • “Should You Give Up or Fight for Your Relationship? – Mini post
  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
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W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands
  • What to Do When Your Marriage Is Failing — Real Answers That Work
  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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