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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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My Marriage is Failing – Should I Walk Away or Stay and Fight?

Everyone that comes for help is asking the same question. They are stuck not knowing what to do whilst their marriage is slipping away.

“What should I do?”

Should I see this pain and suffering as a sign we are at the end? 

Should I fight for my marriage? If I do fight how do I do that with all this proof of suffering in our past? Why would the future be any different?

Some people want me to help them fix the marriage, rebuild the love and the trust, change their partners’ mind, but they don’t know how?

Some people question the root problem in their relationship, am I the problem, or is it my partner?

Are we incompatible or are we just clueless?

You see some people are so lost they can be afraid the relationship won’t work and some are actually afraid it will work.

Did you know that some people create such a powerful emotional system of not trusting their partner looking for what’s wrong becomes their pattern and they can talk themselves out of a perfectly good marriage?

Some people emotional control their partners and then complain about what they created. I’ve seen many people submit who they are to love their controlling partner.

Those wanting answers must change their thinking

My message to all these people is if you want real certainty, if you want to know what to do then you must change your thinking and approach the problem differently.

The answer to your marriage problems is in your ability to connect to a different way of thinking (explained below) that will help you understand with clarity if you are in the right or wrong relationship.

You see most people are unaware of the real problems they are going to face so they don’t learn how to protect their partner, their relationship and themselves.

When couples hit problems the individuals generally don’t protect the relationship, they only protect themselves.

Self-protection, if practised, will always bring the relationships emotional connection to an end – many people end-up still feeling love for their partner, but are not in love anymore.

Self-protection in most cases is really based on a misunderstanding based on only seeing the world from one perspective, one way of thinking followed by a disempowering emotional trigger which is designed to protect them but actually kills the couple’s connection. 

The result is far too many people are protecting themselves from a partner who is not trying to hurt them.

The key to successful marriage

  1. You must stay connected and become what you value and say is important to you.
  2. You must learn, understand, contribute and care about what your partner really needs.
  3. You must define your reason for being a team and work together towards that goal.
  4. Life is about dealing with problems and the couple must learn how to deal with them as a team whilst keeping their connection alive.

The real problem 

Most people want to leave their partner because they no longer understand how to be themselves when they are around their partner. They will find they reconnect to themselves when they are around others.

They have little to no knowledge of how their partner really thinks and what they really need. In many cases, the differences are seen as problems so the couple battles their differences.

Far too many couples end up only having the children as a reason to be together. My sessions are full of people who’s children are about to leave home and the couple’s reason for being together has gone.

Here is what you must do to get the truth about your marriage

If you are unsure what to do with your marriage problems you must learn how to become valuable to that person and yourself.

Most people have not done this and it’s one of the reasons their marriage is in trouble.

You cannot become more than the best of you and if being the best of you and understanding how to be a positive influencer to your partner isn’t enough for them then maybe leaving them is the right decision.

You see a healthy relationship is full of reciprocity and care, unhealthily relationships are full of self-interest and control.

Your first step to discovering your truth

The moment the person understands that their relationship with themselves is the most critical factor in the success or failure of their intimate relationships is the moment their thinking changes.

Far too many people are wanting the outside world to change so they are emotionally okay. What they are not seeing is that makes the world around them more powerful than they are.

I see so many people try to control others as a means to gain power and emotional security.

The issue with that process is it actually makes them more powerless because it breeds resentment in the person they are trying to control, eventually resentment becomes detachment and that leads to an emotional end.

Please make sure you are on the right path.

The bottom line is your relationship answers lie in YOUR ability to add value to those you care about.

If you are going to give then please give because it’s who you are and not because you are wanting something in return.

Some of the work the person needs to do

  1. Understand your own triggers 
  2. Understand who you are and what you value
  3. Uncover the beliefs that are disempowering
  4. Learn how to swop judgement for adding value 
  5. Learn how to forgive and let go
  6. Take responsibility

As hard as this sounds it’s not as hard as living a life without love and always feeling out of control.

Category iconMarriage Coaching

"Marriage in Crisis? Application to work with Stephen Hedger"

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Recent Posts

  • What’s the root cause of our problems?
  • Does their pain matter?
  • “FREEDOM”
  • A thought for Sunday
  • Affairs!

Over 850 Relationship Articles

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Please Save Our Marriage! – Testimonial

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Please Save Our Marriage! This was the first email I recieved from Darren and Sue, they were at breaking point. When they first entered my clinic you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. This was a couple with young children on the edge, breaking up seemed like the only option open to them… Sue […]

“He thought his life was over..!”

March 1, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is a little different. I wanted to share with you a clients words about his experience of the pain of his divorce and the process of rebuilding him and his future. Over to him… The words hit me like a hammer ~ “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken, you never were. […]

“His emotions were sabotaging what he really wanted…”

November 3, 2019 By Stephen Hedger

What you are about to read is about is a gentleman in turmoil. He thought he had lost the girl he loved and his one-year-old son. She had left him and this connected him to his core fears, emotions that were powerful enough to sabotage him from getting the very thing he wanted. As his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for saving marriages from divorce through his tailored Marriage Breakthrough Program.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • What’s the root cause of our problems?
  • Does their pain matter?
  • “FREEDOM”
  • A thought for Sunday
  • Affairs!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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