When the warrior first meets and falls for the princess, he marvels at her beauty.
He stands by her side, looking after her, protecting her and loving her.
Full of his Love, the princess connects with his powerful presence, honesty and strength.
She looks into his eyes and sees the future clearly, a wonderful life is possible with a warrior like this, she feels.
She knows this man loves her, and she can see he will become a great man, so her future looks complete and secure.
So the princess gives herself to the warrior, and they agree to spend their life together.
Every day the warrior goes into battle, his mission is to protect his family.
She loves and nurtures her new family, and she is absorbed in her new role.
She is no longer just a princess, she is now a mother and lover too.
Her time is busy with loving her children, and he is out fighting battles to keep them safe, but an important change has happened, and they have not noticed.
He comes home exhausted from another battle, she too is exhausted from caring for her family on her own.
As he sits to relax and gets rid of his day he looks for food and desires her.
Today she rejects him.
The warrior and the princess have started to change, she keeps feeling unsettled, and she feels he is not present for her even when he is there.
So she feels disconnected from him, which scares her, so she goes to him to see if his Love for her is still there.
The way she does this is she shares all her worries even those about him.
To the warrior, these matters are small and irrelevant, especially when compared to the battles he faces every day.
So he tells her to forget her woes, and he tries to desire her again; she is now furious as he dismisses her feelings.
Full of anger, she rejects him again.
She now looks at how she used to feel when they first met and how she feels today, she prods him and provokes him to notice her and connect with her problems.
She wants him to see how she feels, and the pain she is in. Can he not see what’s happening to her?
The warrior becomes tired of her attacks and negativity, his patience is wearing thin.
He starts to become aware that another war is starting, but this one is in his own home, all he wants is peace.
In this war, he feels powerless because no matter what he does, he struggles to win the battle, and in a rage, he pulls his sword on his princess to shut her down.
This sends shock waves through her, and now she has a new feeling, she is now scared of the warrior she loves.
This was a feeling she never expected, and now in extreme pain, she moves to protect herself from him.
The cycle continues, and eventually, she copes by emotionally numbing herself and putting up a wall of protection to keep herself safe.
Now her focus has changed, she can no longer go to the warrior she loves, in fact, now he has stopped being the warrior for her. She sees him as selfish, weak and a bully.
So she feels alone and scared, and from time to time her fears show up to test the warrior.
She hopes he will wake up to her pain, but he never does.
He starts to see that pulling his sword on makes her quiet, but it’s not the way he wants it to be.
He seems happy now she is calm, but he doesn’t see her truth.
She may now be quiet, but she is becoming detached, getting Love from her children.
He feels successful in battle, so he spends more of his time where he feels good, and that’s not with her anymore.
This is a common story I see every day.
Couples don’t understand each other, so they pick up their weapons and shields to solve their problems, and it never works.
What works is changing the couple’s thinking.
This week 3 couples told me that the work they had done with me had changed their marriage and their feelings towards each other.
All three were certain they were at the end of the road when they started.
Now, these couples have a future they can look forward to.
