What do you do when the marriage isn’t the problem, but the marriage is suffering because of it?
When I look for the root cause for a couples problems, it’s not uncommon for the couple to suffer due to one person’s unhappiness with their own life.
This means they can bring a low-level energy that does not support what they both need to be happy.
So this can take a person into needing additional help personally, so they know how to get the best out of their own lives.
Some people don’t have the success they want; some have the success but are unhappy or unfulfilled with what it’s brought them.
Some are unhappy with their physical self, loss of self-esteem or confidence.
Some are depressed some are stressed, some are retired and have lost their identity.
All have the same thing in common.
How life is today in their minds is not how it should be, causing them pain or ongoing suffering.
So they ask me for life coaching to help them.
I’m not a fan of the term life coaching, but I know that many of my clients see the work I do outside of rebuilding relationships as that.
In reality, I help people understand how to use their minds to excel in areas they feel are essential but not currently working.
I see this as an critical part of their lives and their relationships.
But, too many people are looking for their happiness in the wrong places.
You see, someone who is unhappy with a specific aspect of their lives will bring that unhappiness into their relationships.
I have seen many people blame their relationship or their partner for their unhappiness.
In reality, their upset is with their own lives and where they are in it.
In the process of relationship-building, success sits in the individuals’ ability to change their mindset so they can bring value to themselves and each other.
Life coaching, performance improvement, executive coaching, whatever you want to call it.
The objective is the same, help the person into the right mindset that will allow them access to the thinking to deal with the successes and failure that all quests will bring.
In most situations, the battle isn’t with the process of gaining the goal they are after.
The biggest battle is with their own mind.
In relationships, their success sits in the question.
Who do I have to become to be of value to my relationship?
With money, the question is who do I have to become to generate the money I want.
Success in most situations is down to changing the thinking.
Many people fall foul of the thinking that will keep them stuck.
So they end up becoming the person who never wins or who only wins part of their life.
I see that people are more capable than they think; they just don’t know how to commit to themselves.
They tend to use their mind against themselves without knowing.
They then see that as the proof of their ability so they give up.
Giving up is one choice, the other is to bring the thinking that allows a person to give themselves the best chance to succeed.
So what part of your life are you not happy with, what would you want to change or make better?
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
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