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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Couples are repelling each other constantly.

Women are wanting a better connection yet her behaviours repel him, men want more sexual connections unaware he is killing her desire to see him as attractive so she struggles with wanting a sexual connection.

When you sit in my shoes and you watch what men and women naturally do in relationships, especially when they go wrong, it’s easy to see that growing up none of us (me included) naturally understood or were taught how to keep connection, love and passion alive.

It’s why so many detach, have affairs or settle.

This post is about helping people understand and accept they are simply not designed to understand each other.

Overcoming that understanding, we are not designed to understand each other is the first hurdle.

You see, we must rid ourselves of our expectations of how our partners should behave and start to learn about these critical differences.

The simple answer is my partner will not behave like me or think like me; they are different and are supposed to be.

The second hurdle is understanding how they are different and why.

This is critical because too many people are becoming judges of their partners’ behaviours.

You’re too sensitive, you have no empathy, and if you don’t do it my way or think the same as me you are wrong.

Other people are seeing this lack of alignment as a loss of connection and a loss of love.

This is not true; they are usually normal differences. What’s abnormal and destructive is helping your partner to feel bad about their natural difference.

The problem couples suffer from is not seeing their differences as strengths, so they make each other wrong – this is the problem.

The next question is why?

Why is my partner this way? Why do they do what they do?

I remember one lady who diagnosed her husband with some kind of mind-degenerating illness like dementia.

He couldn’t remember some details about what had happened the week before.

So she kept telling him his memory was going.

All she was really doing was knocking his confidence in him being who he was.

In fact, the more she helped him to think there was a problem the more exaggerated his memory loss became, and even he became worried.

When she was asked to stop, his confidence was reclaimed, and his clarity came back.

What she didn’t know was it was normal for men to not remember what to him is irrelevant details.

What is normal for most women is they have very clear memories, but there is a reason.

As humans, we tend to remember times when there were important emotions present.

Women tend to experience the world emotionally, and men are less likely to experience the world this way which is why the memory isn’t there.

In fact, most men have rejected their emotional response in favour of looking at the facts.

Women can see men as being blunt or tactless when all he is being is honest.

In contrast, all he sees is she is overly sensitive.

When men communicate, what they say is all they mean, when women communicate, what they mean is really attached to what they feel, based on what they say.

This is the tip of the iceberg.

To compound this problem, couples do not understand themselves or each other.

All this will create is a heightened need to control their partner.

Understanding human behaviour in the context of intimate relationships is fascinating and, for me a real pleasure to teach individuals and couples how to get the best from themselves and each other.

It’s gratifying to watch the penny drop as each person starts to put the correct meaning to what is really happening at home.

Now they can swap their worries for freedom and live the life they were always supposed to.

Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Loss of Love,  Loss of passion,  Lost Attraction,  Marriage Coaching,  Personal Development

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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