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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How he kills her sexual desire!

So this gentleman turns up in a session and, for ten minutes, lists all the awful qualities about his wife; here is a sample of this conversation.

  • She spends too much money.
  • She is always so negative about him.
  • She rarely wants sex.
  • She is never happy.
  • Everything he does is wrong.
  • I just feel like a cash machine.
  • She expects me to do my job, but she doesn’t do hers.
  • She’s always tired.
  • She’s miserable until her friends call, and it’s like a magic happiness button has been pressed.
  • She takes no responsibility ever, and everything is my fault.
  • And she constantly complains that I judge her.
  • To top it all, she calls me controlling.

He says I have had enough and am thinking that I may need to leave her.

There is no question that anyone living in this situation would be unhappy.

But the question he is missing is why is she this way?

He has assumed that this is who she is, but I doubt that is true because she would have been like this at the start and if she was, he wouldn’t have married her.

So to evolve into being this way, she would have a reason, so what is going on for her?

As I explored this with him, I noticed the way he described how he showed up with her would have jarred her emotionally and would have a profound effect on her emotions.

He rejected her emotions as trivial, he expected her to let go of what was important to her.

He spent little time connecting with her and then wanted sex and then became upset when it didn’t happen.

When she made a comment he quickly made her wrong and judged her for being different to him.

I noticed that he was treating her as if she was a badly behaved man and this perspective would guarantee to kill her ability to ever see him as attractive.

This man was missing the formula to help her have a reason to want to be intimate with him in fact he gave her the reason to not!

This dynamic meant she could never be herself when she was with him, and so she had to spend time with family and friends to reconnect with herself.

To her, she was a feminine energy who had to become masculine to survive the demands of being married to him.

So with no connection to herself that made sense when she was with him, she had little to no desire to connect emotionally, let alone intimately.

This shift in her would make her naturally tired, and she would naturally struggle to find him attractive; she would resent him and be biased toward only seeing what’s wrong in him.

Why would she care about how he feels, when she was never free to be who she is when she is with him?

He was not helping her, and he had no idea this disaster was happening based on his own actions.

His big complaint to me was a lack of sexual intimacy.

But without knowing, his actions ensured her sexual desire for him would always die.

The loss of sexual connection upset her too, but how could she even think about sex when there were so many disconnects and judgements?

How could she connect sexually to him with no emotional connection or emotional security?

He could leave her, but he would probably repeat this all over again until he saw the real problem was his lack of understanding of how to help her desire him again!

Desire in women is a process and is easily killed with the wrong approach.

Category iconLoss of passion,  Marriage Coaching

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

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I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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